The first week

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The worst part in the morning is to wake up and realize that this is all reality and not a bad dream. I try to open my eyes but they are all red, puffy and the light shining through my window in blinding me. Even tough I need to get up and go to lecture I can't help it, its like my body froze

I lay there what feels like forever not moving a single muscle. Everything just feels numb, I'm neither cold nor warm, I just feel empty.I turn around and check my phone still trying to figure out if I should try to get up and go to my lecture. I'm gonna be late anyway, so what is the point of getting up going?

Ping. My phone lit up an there was a message. Immediately I took it and read the message. 'Please let I be him, just please let I be him' I thought to myself full of hope, that he missed me and wanted to talk again. This has happened sometimes in the past, we would get in a fight and one of us would leave and it would seem like we broke up, but then a day or two went by and we talked again and both of us realized that we can't really go without each other. There's just always been a Maja and Tyler.

But to my disappointment I saw that it was not him, it was Hanna asking about my moving schedule on Saturday.

Yes you heard correct, it is Wednesday, Im exactly two days single and I am moving this weekend. Not far away though only to the next big city because its closer to my university. Yes we planned all that together, he wanted to help me with the parking and all the stuff but now I'm left alone completely by myself. Sure I have my parents and my friends but that is just not the same.

'Hey dear, I just wanted to ask when you wanted to get started on Saturday? xx'. She does not ask how I am because she doesn't know. Nobody does, only my parents and Nicoleta. My Mum found out through this motherly instinct. She called me as soon as I got out of his door and asked me how I was, she said she had this feeling that something was off and that was when I told her, that he left me.

I'm not ready toll tell our friends, because we share the same group of friends. His guy friends are my girls boyfriends and that makes everything just way more complicated. Everything is complicated now, we booked vacation together and a festival, we wanted to see different comedians and also wanted to go to concerts and we already bought the tickets...what now? 

I don't know.

- - - -

"Hey are you still asleep?" I heard a soft knock on the door. My Mum slowly entered the room with a huge cup of tea in her hands.

"Listen Sunshine, you need to get up. I know it's hard but the earlier you start, the easier it will be. Belive me!....I made you some tea and breakfast is ready as well" she smiled

When my Mum smiles it just make me feel really warm from the inside. Sure Mum and I have had our differences in the past. She is a really genuine person and I can always count on her which is really great especially in times like these...

"Thanks Mum, that is really nice of you...I really appreciate it" I tried my best to smile but it was so hard; it felt like this smile was so small and weak, it was not even worth trying. I got up and took a glance in the mirror; but that was not worth it either. My face looked like I never knew what a good night sleep was. 'All those things that  you could fit in the bags under my eyes' I thought to myself and tried to fix what was possible. 

My blonde hair was still in the messy bun that I've fallen asleep with last night. Putting on my glasses I went into the bathroom and splashed cold water in my face hoping it would make its magic. Against all expectations it worked a bit. The cold water cause the blood to come back into my skin causing me to look a bit more alive. I put on some fresh clothes, because I can't keep walking around in these old joggers.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 31, 2020 ⏰

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