Epilogue

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I still can't believe you're gone.

Your room's been taken over by a new teacher by the name of Maryanne. A new teacher. I say that loosely. She's not really new. She's been with us five years, ever since you left with that man-beast.

That day—I'll never forget it. When I first discovered that you were kidnapped by one of them, I expected the worse. Everyone knows what happens, after all. Naked, doubtless impregnated, terrified—you were everything I expected you to be.

Almost ... and not even close.

How could you leave us? How could you leave your mother? Worse—how could you leave us for him? There are so many things I want to tell you. So many things have changed. But I need to find you first. And I've been looking—on and off for years now, without success.

This is my seventh expedition into the dangerous forest. That's new too. We used to lock ourselves away, remember? Hiding behind our big stone wall that wasn't always enough to keep them out. And you'll be surprised to know that you're not the only woman to leave the village. Others have followed in your footsteps. At least a dozen ... and counting. Somehow, despite all the rumours and terrors of what they do to us, you've set a trend. More and more women want to join these men.

Preposterous. Stupid.

The women with me are armed and trained. Just as I am. I'm still a teacher but now I'm a soldier too. After all that happened to you, I decided the best protection was being able to defend myself. Wish you could have done the same before you were taken.

'Annie, are you all right?' Felicity asks, looking back at me curiously.

'I'm fine. Just thinking.'

We've stopped in a clearing, no different from any other except for a burnt-out fire and the remains of a cooked monkey carcass scattered all over the ground.

Yetta crouches to inspect the site.

'What have you got?' I ask, keeping an eye on the surrounding trees as I grip my shotgun tightly. The camp is cold but we can't be too careful; the skills of these man-beasts can be astounding.

'Definitely a female.'

I stare at her, my heart leaping in my throat. 'You serious?'

'Definitely. And at least two children—maybe more.'

I'm dumbstruck. My heart pounds in my ears. A family. We've never tracked a family before. Could it be? After all this time, could it really be you?

'Then, let's go!' I say.

Yetta's the best tracker in the village, but even I can see the tracks after a while. They're fresh, and more and more I see the proof of Yetta's assessment: footprints. Many footprints. Big and small. You're not far ahead.

'Take care,' Yetta hisses. 'We're getting close.'

We slow to a cautious walk, hunched over our weapons, as we peer through the branches. We all pause at the sound of a growl. Felicity presses her fingers to her lips: Quiet. Another growl answers the first, high-pitched—a woman's.

Felicity glares at me to be careful as I push further through the trees. I have to see if it's you. Nothing's going to stop me. I'm cautious where I place my feet. The sweat on my hands makes the gun slippery. I hear more growling and whining, even more high-pitched—the children?

More growling, followed by a snarl. I tell myself that it surely it can't be you. You're no animal. But I'll never forget how you were on that final day. Still human. Still recognisable as my best friend. But barely.

Finally, I see movement. I drop into a crouch. Bracing my gun across my knees, I part the leaves ahead of me. I suck in a breath. Felicity is right. It's a family: the big beastly male, two children about the age of four or five—it's hard to tell their sexes from my vantage point—and a woolly-haired female.

I stare at her/you. Is it you? I try to recognise something familiar in the way she stands. She half-turns, allowing me to see her dirty face. My heart sinks. She can't be you. She looks nothing like you. But as I continue to look and look, things soon start to come together. Her hair's the right colour. The height is right too. Her nose is pointed like yours, her lips full like yours. She's much more muscular than you used to be but that doesn't mean anything. Her breasts are swollen with milk and I suddenly notice a stirring at her back. There's a third child. An infant. Hidden beneath her woolly hair in a sling.

Then I see it—a dark stain on her left shoulder. It could be dirt, I tell myself. But I know that it's not. I know your birthmark anywhere. It's your shoulder. It's you. After all this time I've finally found you.

You raise your nose to sniff the air and turn with a growl. The male is busy with your two children further ahead and doesn't hear you amid his grunting and their babbling. Somehow you spot me. Our eyes lock. I don't move. I can't move. The gun feels heavy in my lap. You're wild now. You might attack. You might even try to kill me. I can't trust you to recognise me, but I pray that you do.

It's me! I shout in my mind. Annie, your friend!

You stop growling as you gaze at me steadily. Something shifts in your face. Your eyebrows crease. And just for a moment, I see recognition flash in your eyes. It could be my imagination. It could just be my hope. But I like to believe otherwise.

Somewhere, deep inside, you remember me.

Somewhere, deep inside, you're you.

You turn away, your baby squirming at your back as you join your mate and children. He smooths his hand around the back of your neck as he nuzzles your face. I watch as you nuzzle him back. Such unexpected affection swells my heart.

At least you're happy. Even after all that's happened to you, somehow you've found contentment.

One of the children screams and throws itself against your legs, hugging you tight.

Slowly, I draw away, suddenly feeling like I'm witnessing something I shouldn't.

I return to Felicity and Yetta.

'Well? Is it her?' Felicity says.

I swallow down my tears and wipe my nose. My voice is a croak. 'Let's go home.'


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