Forever

The offer

It had been 10 minutes since Sam hung up the phone, and her hands still hadn't stopped shaking. She had lit another cigarette and was inhaling the smoke more than she ever had before. The nicotine was slowly relaxing her, reducing the anxiety that had formed after the crazy phone call. Never in her lifetime would she have thought she would be offered the job of her dreams, in one of the most famous cities in the world,  New York City. Yes, she had hoped and worked her ass off for nearly 7 years, missing out on a social life and family time to get the best grades possible, but she still couldn't comprehend what had just been said. She had been called by a member of staff from NYU, asking her to become an on-campus psychologist, to conduct research  and to host therapy sessions for the students and faculty on campus. It may have seemed like a small dream, but ever since she was  little girl, all Sam had wanted to do was live in New York and help people. She hadn't even told Michael that she had applied for the job. It was over a month ago when she had finally sent it off, and she had been certain that she had been passed over, after not hearing from them in all that time, especially because she lived in a little county in England that nobody had ever heard of. Sam knew that almost everyone important in her life would support her, especially her family. There was only one person she was nervous to tell, her boyfriend, Michael. He was a bit of a home body and she wasn't sure if he would be willing to make the move with her. The job was perfect  for her though, a good salary and a chance at a fresh start. She had lived in the farming county of Lincolnshire almost all her life, only ever having a different post code when she was at University up North, but even then, she was home during the summers and breaks. She had a lot of baggage in her little town especially after 25 years of living there, and knowing she would be moving in a manner of months, felt like the weight of her world had been lifted from her shoulders. The only good thing about her hometown was the people she loved who were there, Michael, her dad Mathew and her brother, Simon. 

When her phone had rang on this particular Tuesday in December, while in the office, Sam had never expected for it to turn her world upside down, in the best way possible. After what felt like hours of staring at her phone, and chain smoking, (it was her lunch break), Sam finally went back into the building. Being back in the warm, she was able to comprehend what was happening. Feeling herself get emotional, she bypassed her desk and headed straight for the toilets. She didn't want to let her asshole coworkers see her cry, even if they were tears of happiness. Walking into the bathroom, she was nervous and uncertain. Should she call Michael first or her Dad? After giving it some thought, she decided to call her Dad, after all, he's the one that persuaded her to fill out the application form online. 

"Dad?"

"Is everything okay Sammy? You never call me at work?"

"Yes, actually, I've got something i need to tell you..."

"... should i be worried?" Mathew asked, concern clear on his voice.

"No." Replied Sam, nerves building in her stomach. "I got the job in New York Dad!" 

"I'm so proud of you hunny, bet you're glad I made you do it now eh?"  Sam could hear her dad smiling through the phone. 

"I'm not sure if I'm going to take it, but at least I know that I could have it if I wanted to"

"I've got to go Sam, but we'll speak tonight baby, okay? Love you" Mathew hung up the phone before Sam could reply. She knew he probably just had to get back, him being a teacher her whole life, she knew his routine down to the second. Mathew had replied exactly the way Sam had predicted and knew he would never try and make her stay. He had been there for everything that Sam had gone through while living at home, and therefore knew how much she couldn't stay for much longer.  And it wasn't even his reaction she was scared for. She practically lived with Michael, or if we're being honest, he practically lived with her, so she would have to tell him sooner or later. 

For now, Sam decided not to worry too much, as she hadn't even decided whether she wanted to move all the way across the world, so why start an argument over something uncertain? She just had to get through the rest of the day, and then she could sit at home and fully think about everything. She only had 2 more hours at work, and then she could head home. 

The 2 hours passed like a blur. Sam was too focused on anything other than the spreadsheet in front of her. She had never cared about her job and she wasn't going to start now. It paid the rent for her one-bed flat and that was all it was. The people she worked with were assholes who wouldn't be able to tell Telly from Radio, and she was constantly having to do their work for them, or leaving the room to get her own work done. They all saw it as a gossip session. 

As soon as it turned 5pm, she was packing her bag and heading out of the doors. She didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone, as she barely knew anyone's names anyway. As soon as she opened the door, the cold air hit her in the face, turning her previously pale cheeks a rosy red. This was her Favourite weather, but she didn't remember it being this cold when she had come for a cigarette earlier. She walked the 5 minute walk to her car, her breath visible in the cold December air. With only 2 weeks away from Christmas, which was her Favourite time of year, Sam was annoyed she was unable to appreciate the winter weather. She just couldn't relax. Michael was due over tonight, and she knew she wouldn't be able to lie to him, or not tell him. He had known her since she was 16, and she had never been able to get anything past him before. As she opened her car door, she placed her bag on the passenger seat and turned on the radio. She loved listening to the radio on her way home. She had an hours drive on her own, but the radio made her feel like someone was talking to her, which kept her alert and active. 

The roads were jam packed, as they always were during rush hour. Not as bad as a Monday or Friday, but it added an extra half an hour to her drive. This day had been a crazy day, a rollercoaster of highs and lows. She wasn't ready to head into her flat, knowing Michael was there and he knew nothing about what was going on. She knew that her relationship would be seriously tested, and to be honest, she was unsure whether she wanted it to survive or not. Things had been different lately. Maybe it was Michael, maybe it was her, she didn't know but she felt a change in their relationship.  As she exited her car, Sam took her keys and walked to the front door, knowing that the crazy day was far from ended.