Our Love | RadhaKrishn

1.

~ Virah ~
in which Radha writes a letter to Krishn after her marriage

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Dear Krishn...

As I'm writing this, tears fall from my eyes.

I'm writing this with a morpankh; one that you gave to me with your love that I've managed to treasure for so long.

Oh how cruel life is..! We never expected for things to turn out this way. Happily in love. Wishing to be married with each other.

Was it wrong?

It seems like fate doesn't want us to be together. It doesn't want us to be with each other.

Ayan has married me. It has been hours since our marriage happened.

You know that it will not be appropriate if we meet each other even after this. I need to be the ideal daughter in law for my home.

I don't love you.
At least that was what I thought.

But my heart seemed to beat and race when you played your bansuri like you always do. An smile appeared on my face without my permission.

I almost ran out of my home to meet you like I always do.

I stopped.

This can't go on anymore. I'm married and I can't meet you. Like this. As lovers.

Then why do I feel like I still love you, Krishn? Why do I yearn to see you? Why does my heart continue to race whenever I think of you? And why, oh why, does the tune of your magical flute make me want to lose my mind and dance with you forever?

Remember our raas?

Bathing in the glorious moonlight, you played your flute to my heart's content as me and the gopis danced around you in eternal peace.

I would rest my head on your shoulder with closed eyes and a smile. You would look at me with pure love in your eyes.

We would intertwine our fingers, falling asleep in the other's embrace.

And what about our colors of love?

Sure, I acted like I didn't want you to color me first but inside I was always colored in your love.

You have helped me overcome so many struggles. Fear, attraction, anger, arrogance...

You taught me the true meaning of love.

You told me that we were the true meaning of love.

If we were, why didn't we get married? Why did the universe decide to keep us apart?

Do you remember how you used to adorn me?

You would do it with so much love. Even when I was going to be married to an asur. Even now, you were the one who adorned me for mine and Ayan's marriage.

You still did it with all your love. Even as your heart was breaking.

It pains me to see you like this, Krishn.

I can't bear to see your once happy face filled with sorrow. I can't see the tear stained cheeks when I've seen your mischievous smile all my life.

Morpankh. Your morpankh has always been my favorite.

I loved fixing it on you. I would swell with pride knowing that I would be the only one who could do that.