Chapter 1: A life without happiness

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My life has never been fun, laughter and warmth of joy don't exist in my world. The only time I smiled was when my parents were still able to carry me but as I grow up, I felt nothing but sadness.

Why did I become like this kind of person? I promised dad that I would be someone who would give happiness to other people, and here I am, asking for someone to at least save me from misery. I can't live like this, depending on someone to save me from my own monster that I created, what would dad think of me if he was still alive?

I, once again, have been woken up from a never ending nightmare. I sit up from my bed, sweating again because of my dream. I was lost in thoughts, just staring blankly into the dark room I've been living then suddenly my alarm clock goes off. It's already 12:45 in thr afternoon and classes would start around 2.

I got up and dragged my feet to the bathroom, to fix up since it's another day again to attend classes again that I may never use in the future, since I'll be dead soon.

I repeatedly ask myself what is my purpose here in this world while taking a bath, brushing my teeth, eating, painting, or any activties that I may be doing. I would ask myself if love can really fix anything, what if love will make me realize what is my purpose of my life? If I find love, then can I be able to feel the warmth of happiness?

As I finished fixing myself up to at least look a decent person, I hurriedly go outside my apartment where my bike is parked and went to my university. I attend a university named Wimbledon College of Arts. Yes, I am a painter, a painter that only make art using the emotion of sorrow.

I can at least be grateful that I can be able to work without interacting with people. Being alone is indeed a lonely way to live but I just can't stand people looking at me all the time, it's like I'm always somewhat wrong in their eyes. It's like I'm the bad one here.

In the university, I've always been ignored and got sneered by girls who have supposedly stood up for the word "girl power", that's ironic. I have been harassed by boys who calls themselves gentlemen which is also ironic. I mean, why did I even attend to this University? I would rather attend online classes instead of going to the University to attend classes.

One friend or accompany is already enough for me, and I have one, her name is Catherine, my friend and my only sister. Unfortunately, we don't attend the same university since her course is different, not only that but she lives in Chelmsford.

As I was sitting my seat in Mr. Clausther's class, my phone rang, notifying me that someone might sent a message. I looked at my phone and it seems that Catherine will not able to visit me this weekend due to her budy schedule... I replied back telling her that it's okay and she can come when she's not busy anymore. She was supposed to help me find someone that could be interested with me, but I guess that would be postponed.

I only have three subjects to attend today. I decided to go to the mall to buy paint for my work, after that I went out of the mall immediately.

I was walking alone in a quiet and dark street and the sun is almost down, that's when I stumbled two students from my university looking at me. I hurriedly walked away as soon I made eye contact with those two but it seems that they managed to caught up to me and started talking and asking why am I alone here.

That's when I notice the other guy was a senior from the theatre. Who wouldn't know Sky? He's somewhat infamous and famous at the same time.

"Ah, nice seeing you here, Ms. Ronchelle. What might be the reason why a lady like you is walking alone?" He said. No wonder he is famously known for his acting skills.

"It's probably because this lady whom you are talking to enjoys walking alone and not with someone." I replied back without making eye contact.

"Hmm, what an interesting lady. I must be going now for it seems that you are clearly not interested." He said again with a soft voice, he stopped, and looked at me, "Stay safe, Ms. Ronchelle." I don't know why he knows my name.

I was left alone, still standing and lost in thought again after my encounter with him, then I heard someone calling, "Young lady, come here." An old lady with a peculiar and rundown shop.

"M-me?" I stuttered, somewhat nervous.

"Yes, you" She said with a smile on her face, so I started walking towards her.

"Musa, the unknown have told me that you are looking for love." The old lady said but I didn't utter a word, not because she knows my name, it's because of this unknown that she's talking about. "You will find love in your state of unconsciousness before even meeting him face to face."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked and heard noises from my back so I looked around quickly and when I turned around, the whole shop is gone, it completely disappeared, and I know for sure that this only happens to fantasy books.

I quickly ran away, I feel goosebumps around my body. What does she even mean about that, more importantly, who is that old lady? Is she some kind of witch or something?

While running away, I felt a sudden rush of adrenaline as I looked in front of me and saw a flash of light onky realizing the moment I got hit was a car.

I only heard sirens and people screaming and murmuring, I am conscious but can't move my body at all. The last thing I saw was the sky that I might never see again. So this is it, this is the moment I've been waiting for...

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