caretaker//asanoya ( editing. )

arising questions.

Asahi's pov

I don't cuss regularly but, fuck. my eyes widen and I just freeze. he recomposes himself but his voice is timid. "yeah I know, I didn't know what to say or how to act. the girl that I loved and also cheated took her life out of pain for hurting me....tch." he grits his teeth as tears just spill. "how fucking selfish." his voice slightly cracks.

"well, I don't still even know if she was being selfish or just.... something other than that. I mean I naturally think of the whole 'don't kill yourself.' 'it's a permanent solution for a temporary problem.' 'killing yourself is selfish, think about all the people that love you.' and I agree with those thing but I can't help from having thought like 'what if she believed no one loved her?' 'what if the was the best option to bring peace to herself' 'why is she playing the victim? is she the real victim?' 'what if it's my fault, she did cheat. I wasn't good enough to live with I wonder if im good enough for her to die for?'."

"it still fuck with me till this day, anyways. I was talking to Tanaka and somehow I and her got brought up. once he hung up thoughts of me and her came rushing through and I broke down full of anxiety, fear, and confusion." his tears never left, any more voice cracks, sharp gasp, and actions to cover up his current state of extreme vulnerability. just silent tears the come out one after another.

it gets quite... "im so sorry." I finally spoke "why are you sorry?" his confusion peeks throughout his tone. "because you had to go through so much. your soul & heart is one of a kind and for you to be treated completely opposing to what you are is sorry in itself." his eyes widen and he blushes as a small smile creeps upon his lips. "thank you." I shake my head side to side. "don't you ever thank me for saying things that supposed to be said, it's nothing extravagant it's just the truth." I smile softly at the end of my sentence.

Baby Nishi's POV

I just poured out my heart for about 20 mins and he cleans it up without discarding instead repair and hands it to me within 30 secs after finishing my explanation to his ( understandably. )  asked question. "you're such a fucking teddy bear Asahi." he just make the noise that makes everyone seem nonexistent, that laugh that put the whole world at a standstill.

and they are the ones doing great because when he does things like that I can barely stand. at all... *knock knock.* "mm, wonder who that is?" I mutter quietly. "HOLD ON IM COMING JUST A MINUTE." Asahi hollers loud enough for then person knocking on the neighbor's door could here.

while he answers the door I just pick up my trash from eating and crying and throw it in the trash can in the kitchen. I hear Asahi close the door and his footsteps get closer. "it was tanka with your clothes." 'THE GODS HAVE ANSWERED MY PRAYERS.' "oh okay, im going to go take out the trash for you since it's full."

"oh no, you don't have to-."

"Hey, you've been taking care of me and listened to my bullshit this is the least I can do."

"Alright if you say so noya." he then walks off. and I go to take out the trash like I said I would.
when I step outside and fuck was it cold as shit. I can though through it though. im not freezing and the doctor said I would get sick but the only time I felt terrible was at the hospital when I was on a bunch of meds. so I should be fine.

[the next day.]

"Noya you're burning up, like fire." fucking tell me about it im the one feeling the burn. "im going to go get you a hot towel and some water okay just stay right here." I do a weak nod to confirm I heard what he said.

my head hurts so bad that thinking feels like hell right now. I hear the door open I giggle weakly "well that was fast." he puts the towel over my head and the water on the nightstand. and he sits at the end of the bed next to my feet.

"do you think you have an idea why you're sick." "a little, it was cold when I went out yesterday." my voice is under a whisper but Asahi must understand because he responses connect with mine. "oh for the trash, that's a thought. maybe it's because you cried so much." ( I've actually done that before😭. I'll give yall a story time about it at the end of the next chapter if y'all want. plus make sure you read the a/n at the end.) "eh." I shrugged not really thinking that is the reason for my illness.

"How are you feeling?" his sincerity makes my heart warm up, and it would mean alot more if I wasn't already burning but it still feels nice . "like raw shit." he snickers "not like, mentally... what you told me yesterday can make anybody lose their shit and I just wanted to make sure if you're health physically is not up to par at least your mental health should be."

"well... im not thinking about it too much right now. kind of slowing dying so that's not really crossing the streets on my mind."

"well whatever it is, allow me to help as your crossing guard." he bows slightly before we both join in a fit of laughter. he pats my leg and gets up "call me if you need anything."
I nod a small smile curtly make its way upon my face.

Asahi's pov

as I walk out a hear a voice that can only belong to yuu nishinoya sweetly rings in my ears with an attempt to yell a pure "thank you Asahi." my heart stops for a second and I smile even though he cannot see me. "your welcome." I yell back a lot clearer than him.

I walk in the living room to see the bag that tanka dropped off yesterday for noya so I decide to pick it up and set it in front of his door until something dropped on the floor on my way to do so.

I look around until I find a pill bottle that unfamiliar. 'does he take medication?'

thank you for reading💓.