An Unexpected Romance ~Drarry~

Chapter 7

Draco
I finished bandaging up my arm after another cutting session, sink to the ground. Ever since I'd started 3 weeks ago I couldn't seem to stop. I felt the urge to cut so often it seemed unreal. I felt numb in lessons, and would take notes like I was in a trance. I didn't seem to care about my education anymore. I didn't care about anything anymore. I was snappy and short-tempered to Pansy and Blaise, so recently they'd been keeping their distance. I found myself sitting alone in lessons - which I wasn't complaining about. I knew my grades were dropping, and I was getting more and more detentions for not doing my homework. I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I wanted to just lie in darkness feeling numb. No one to bother me. I felt like everything in my life was slipping away from me, and I could do nothing to stop it. It was almost like I had no control over anything - I had no control over the abuse, Astoria and Theo's affair, no control over my emotions which led to Pansy and Blaise avoiding me. Yet cutting gave me something to control.....and it helped as well.

Ever since that Potions class, Potter and I had some sort of an unspoken truce between us. If Weasley and Hermione weren't in a class we had together, Potter would sit by me and despite our past, we actually got on. Today we had no classes, so I went down to the lake and sat against the large oak tree to get away from everyone. I'd just gotten an A on my Ancient Runes essay, when I was an O student. I was pretty sure that Snape would be hunting me down to lecture me, and hardly anyone ever went here.

"Hey, Malfoy." I heard someone say behind me. I turned around to see Potter coming towards me. He sat down besides me and smiled.

"Potter? What are you doing here? I thought nobody came down here"

He laughed. "Guess I'm the exception then. No, it's a good place to come if you wanna be alone. And sometimes I wanna get away from the whole chosen one thing."

"Hm. Yeah, I get you."

"So who are you hiding from?" he asked.

"Snape. I got a bad grade on an Ancient Runes essay, and no doubt he's hunting me down to give me a lecture."

"Ha, sucks to be you. What grade did you get?"

"Acceptable."

"What?! That's great! It's better than what I could've gotten."

I laughed a little. "Not when you went from Outstanding to Acceptable in 3 weeks."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

A moment of silence passed between us while I picked at my wrist absent-mindedly. Potter fiddled with his sleeves while I zoned out like I normally did as darker thoughts creeped into my mind.

"Hey, Malfoy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? It's just you've been really distant from everyone, and you're grades are dropping, and well.... I'm worried about you. So...I guess I just wanted to check if you were actually okay."    He was looking at me worriedly, his eyes filled with concern. What was annoying was that he had noticed how I really wasn't fine.

"I'm fine, Potter. Now if you'll excuse me." I said standing up I tried to walk away from him, but he grabbed my hand and stood up himself, holding me back.

"Draco, you're not fine! I can see it in your eyes every time I look at you! Please just talk to me!" he looked so desperate to help me, and I wanted to just break down in his arms. He was hurting my wrists, but I didn't care. I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything would be okay. But if the abuse has taught me anything, then it's that if you show weakness you get hurt more. So I did the worst possible thing.

I yanked my hands away and glared at him coldly in his perfect eyes.
"No! Why should I? It's not like we're friends! You're just that annoying Griffindor who has some hero complex. You're nothing to me, and you never will be!" as soon as I've said it I want to take it back, even though I can't. He looks like his heart just broke, and I can feel myself breaking at the sight of him. So I run. I run back into the castle, and up to the Room of Requirement where I just break down and sob.

~~~

I'm lying there slumped, numb on a chair watching the blood flow out of my arm. It was dinner time now, and I hadn't eaten all day - but I felt sick. And how could I allow myself eat after what I'd said to Harry. How did I even deserve to live after what I'd just said. My tears slipped down my face as I thought over why I couldn't just die. I wanted to. No one cared about me anymore. I pushed away everyone who ever did - and now I was alone. Wasn't that what I wanted? I thought I wanted to be alone - and I was still miserable. I still hated myself and the world around me. I've hurt so many people so many times in my life. Maybe if I was dead I wouldn't hurt people so much. Maybe if I was dead my pain would stop. Maybe if I was dead, everyone else would be so much happier.

I found myself walking up to the astronomy tower. Blood had stained my sleeves as I couldn't be bothered to bandage them back up. I'd taken a couple of blood replenishers simply so that I didn't collapse before I jumped. When I reached the tower I blasted away the railing so I could just step off without needing to climb over it. Looking down, everything seemed so small - yet so welcoming. I smiled as half of my feet were already over the edge. I felt so calm in the face of death. I took at deep breath. I looked at the stars. They would be the last thing I would see. I closed my eyes. I heard someone scream my name behind me..... And I stepped off.

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Hi, I'm sorry if this chapter was too depressing, and I'm sorry if it triggered or upset anyone. Please remember that if you enjoyed the chapter to vote and comment what you thought of it.