If Only You Knew (One Direction adoption)

20

*none of y'all better get mad at this story now*

"Spencer, remember we'll love you no matter what okay?" Niall looked at me in my eyes to make sure I clearly understood him. I nodded my head and he walked out to go find Christy. By this point I was shaking, managing to look up and look at the screen with my peanut on it.

Niall and Christy walk in startling me and bringing me out of my trance. "Doctor J has to leave for another patient I hope that's alright" Christy looked at me. I nodded and the both of them sat down. "Do you know what your decision is?" All I could do was nod.

"I can't keep it," I said lowly. She nodded and left the room. Niall held my hand tight and I leaned back into the table again trying not to overwhelm myself. "Niall, what am I going to tell everyone?" I couldn't even look at him. I didn't want to see if I disappointed him again.

"We'll figure something out. If anything Christy will give us ways to tell the boys." I just nodded and waited for Christy to come back in.

It was about 10 more minutes before a knock at the door came and Christy walked in with a tray and a bag.

"Alright honey you'll take this now and these 3 are for when you get home. Take them in about 5-6 hours I wouldn't recommend any earlier. In the bag there's another pregnancy test. You'll take that in about 6 weeks to make sure that the embryo has completely detached. Before I hand you the pill I'm going to ask you one more time, are you sure you want to do this?" I had no choice to look directly in her eyes.

"Yes."

"Alright honey. Here's some water as well. So both of you are aware this can hurt significantly as everything passes through, but there's nothing to be too scared about. I had doctor J right out a couple prescriptions for you for pain medication. Niall have her take it at the peak of pain and only one every 6 to 8 hours no more. If either of you need me call me. Here's another number to a 24/7 hotline if it's an ungodly hour of the night. And here's a pamphlet on what to expect for the next couple days," she said as she handed me the pill and water and Niall the paper work. "I want you to go home and relax, lay in bed and try to not worry about anything. Remember Spencer, we're not here to judge you on this choice we are here to help." I nodded and handed her back her cup. "Is there anything else I can help you two with today?"

"Yes actually. So the rest of the boys and the father know about the baby how do you think I should go about telling them?" In all honesty i was terrified of her response to the question but I couldn't show it at that point. I had taken the first step. What's done is done.

"Honestly Spencer, if you're scared to tell them, what is recommended is telling them that it was a false positive and as long as Niall over here keeps this between the two of you it should work fine." We both looked at Niall to see if he would object and he just nodded letting us know that is what we'd go with. We said our good byes and she left the room. Once she did I grabbed Niall and gave him the biggest hug I could. I know this secret was something drastic to be keeping from everyone but we both know it's keep my mind at ease.

"Let's drop off your prescriptions and grab some food okay? I totally forgot you didn't eat lunch" he smiled down at me. I nodded and we walked back to the front counter to make sure any bills were taken care of. He threw all the paperwork and the last test into his hoodie pocket and we walked back to the car. "Let's go to the pharmacy first okay? Then we can double back around and pick up the 'scripts when we're done eating." We buckle in and leave.

Thankfully the pharmacy was close to home and there would only be about a 20 minute wait before we could pick them up so niall ran us through the McDonald's drive through. I get a cheese burger and a small fry while Niall gets a quarter pounder meal. While we eat we just sit and enjoy each others presence not really talking.

"Niall, if you want to tell the rest of them that's fine but if you do I just want them to know that I'm still going to keep the story of a false positive for Sean and Quinn."

"That's none of my business to tell them, Spencer, but thank you for letting me know. This will be another one of our little secrets," he smiled at me. I gave him the best hug I could with the car restricting my access. He shortly after got a text letting him know the prescriptions were ready to be picked up so we left.

My heart was now beating out of my chest as we made our way to the house. Niall's hand intertwined in mine was creating a ground for me. We went over the story one more time and added how we ate before we came home and I need to lay down because of how overwhelming everything got today. Niall gave me one last reassuring smile as we headed through the front doors. I smiled as I heard everyone laughing and having a good time. Niall handed me all the papers and the bag with the test as we headed towards the rest of the guys. As soon as Louis saw us he stopped what he was doing and just looked. Then the rest followed.

"How was your appointment today?" Louis asked.

"Actually really good. We got good news too. The test was a false positive!" I smiled at everyone. They all ran and hugged me at once and i couldn't help but laugh.

"I think that's the best news we've heard all day pumpkin!" Harry screeched, hugging me again. My heart slightly broke that I had to lie to them but I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth about what really happened today.

"I'm going to go lay down upstairs though. It was a long day," I laughed walking up the stairs. I heard Louis mention dinner being ready soon but Niall shutting him down quickly telling him I already ate. Once I made it up to my room I quickly through the paperwork and test into the back of a dresser drawer and put the rest of the medicine in my nightstand drawer. I pulled out my iPod to text Sean letting him know to tell Quinn since I didn't have his number. I set an alarm to take the rest of the pills as well just so I wouldn't forget. It was only 3 more hours I had to wait but knowing me I'd forget about them.

After a couple hours of laying down, listening to music, I texted Niall letting him know he's the only one allowed in my room no matter what. I take the last three pills as instructed and lay down getting ready for bed. Scared was an understatement. As soon as I plugged in my iPod I got a knock at my door. I get up and open it and see Niall.

"Here's an extra couple bottles of water. Is there anything else you'll need for cramps besides the pain medicine?" He whispered to me making sure no one else heard.

"A heating pad would be great if we have one" he nodded and ran to the hall closet looking. Surprisingly he was able to find a small one but it will hopefully do the trick. He handed it to me and hugged me

"If you need anything at all text me if you know I'm still up or call me okay? I'm here for you no matter what." I nodded and walked back to my bed plugging in the pad into my wall. Niall closed my door. I placed the bottles on my desk and get comfortable one more before turning off the world for tonight.

I wake up with a stabbing pain in my abdomen and throw the heating pad on hoping it'll help. I grab my iPod and look at the time: 4:32. I FaceTime Niall until he picks up and can hear him walking over.

"What's going on? What do you need?" I couldn't answer him so I just pointed to my drawer and he takes the hint. He opens it and finds the right bottle and hands me a pill and some water. I take it and mouth a thank you. He kisses my forehead and goes to leave until I grab his wrist.

"Stay.. please.." I croaked. He nodded and laid on the other side of me. I curled up into his side and he held me tight until we both fell asleep one more time.