Monsters Live Inside You (Criminal Destiel AU)

Chapter 3

Excuse any typos or confusing sentences. Ay yi yi I just ain't good at being my own beta, proof reader, whatever.

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He could get out, he could get out now and run till his entire body burned and his lungs screamed, run into the darkness that stretched out, infinite and mysterious. He could gently pull out the seatbelt that Dean had roughly trapped him under sometime ago, the harder part would  be, of course, opening the door and pressing his shoes onto the ground outside without being heard, without crunching anything. Funny how the smallest things sound so horribly LOUD when you're trying to escape.

Dean was leaning on his car outside, his back blocking the entire window to the left of Castiel. Dean was talking  to someone on the phone again. He had stopped somewhere off the road to hastily call someone. He may possibly die, if he somehow escaped, wandering the unfamiliar territory but he would inevitably die in this car, and if not, wherever they were going. Running or staying? Running sounded like a much better idea, didn't it?

Dean had looked like he was on automatic, and it was like the car drove on a road that stretched on forever. Castiel's own adrenaline had kept his eyes wide open, too distrustful and alert to even consider resting. There were barely any words exchanged, barely any communication. Maybe if he was quiet long enough he would disappear, dissolving into nothing because, who knows? Maybe that's all he is. Nothing.

But he'd save the self loathing for later, when he was laying in his bed, reading a book, and complaining about the building's air ventilation like he always did, irritated and isolated, like he preferred it. Too many human relationships were just a hassle for him, the past proved it too many times. Jo's recently realized friendship with him was all he needed, but she's long gone, probably already gave up on him by now.

His hand rested on the buckle of the seatbelt, his body stiff and tight. He never liked cars, they were so confining, loud, unpredictable, and he was perfectly fine walking instead of possibly causing a collision. Moreover, he absolutely detested the foul gasoline smell. Actually scratch that, he hated cars. Too many memories, bad memories, in his childhood revolved around cars, happened in cars, were caused because of cars.

His fingers, he noticed, were starting to tremble. His stomach churned and his eyes felt watery, no, his cheeks felt wet. He hated this. He hated the fact that he couldn't conceal his emotions. The possibility that Dean would see him crying if he turned around is what made him let go of the buckle and cover his eyes with his hands, wiping away any evidence, kind of like how he imagines Dean must have done at some point, wiping away traces.

The palms of his hands covered his eyes as tightly as possible, his shaking was worsening. He took a few slow deep breaths and dropped his hands, hopelessly letting them fall on his lap. When he opened his eyes the first thing that crossed his mind was Run. Run and don't look back, don't worry, you can make it. He won't see you, he won't get you, just run.

So that's exactly what he did.

And he felt both confident yet terrified that he did.

Silence wasn't the main problem anymore, it was the seconds he would need before Dean turned back around. His hand pressed down on the buckle and it whizzed up, almost painfully smacking the side of the car. Dean was already starting to turn around, a puzzled look morphing into one of realization. Well shit, now he definitely didn't have time to waste.  He wasn't even thinking anything through, but the next thing he sees is his hand on the handle, suddenly he smells fresh cold air whip at his face and the moon was shinning brightly down at him, but there's no moment to enjoy the scenery.

He didn't even close the door before he sprinted off, not paying attention to where he was going, as long as it was far, far away from him.  Castiel almost dared to laugh. What a careless idiot that green eyed doll was. If it was him, he would have actually listened to the reasonable voice from the phone, or better yet, locked the car. Not that he was complaining though.