#14 :: An Office Romance

24.

Reggie

I sat in the car with the music low.
Aaliyah x Miss you was playing.
I always played this song whenever it was their birthday or memorial. You'd think I'd be used to it with how long it's been now. But it will always be hard. I lost my sister and then exactly a year later my mum took her life on the same day. On purpose. I dread this day every year. It was just us three. Didn't know my dad, didn't have any other siblings and you'd be surprised who really actually still checks in on you once everyone is dead and buried. Only consolation I guess is, I don't have to have two different dates for them.
It's been nine years since my sister died and eight years for my mum. I was young and reckless when they died. If there was one thing I was grateful for it was my aunt making sure I did counselling. Bereavement as well as standard counselling. I didn't speak to begin with; but when I turned twenty one, I had decided I was going to join them. I had had enough and thought what really was the point. My aunt had been making sure I went. I'd go and say I'm fine every time. Then one week it was a really bad week for me and I flipped out at my session. Broke down. It was then I realised what these sessions were for. To this day five years later I still have sessions; they're a bit more spaced out. But they definitely help. I wouldn't be the man I am today had I not stuck at it. No one knows other than my Aunty. I prefer it that way.

I was slowly taken out of my thoughts when I heard a knock at my car window. It was April with flowers, balloons and only God knows what else. I smiled as I got out the car.

"You sure you got enough there?" I said as I helped her with some of the stuff.

"Is it too much? I can take it back? I didn't want to come empty handed but I didn't want to overdo it. I've overdone it haven't I? Oh no."

"To be honest... it's never been done. So I actually appreciate it. Thank you."

April sighed a sigh of relief. We walked in silence until I came to a stop. 1 headstone. Two names Regina Green & Renee Green.

"Were you and your sister twins? Reginald and Regina." April asked.

"Nah, she was couple years older than me. We looked alike though. She was just shorter. But she looked like me but a female version. Basically my mum. We all look alike." I said.

April started tidying up the graveside and she added the balloons, the flowers & then I noticed she had two big candles with lanterns. She placed them at the end of the grave and lit them.

"They say you should light a candle in memory of their lives. You know ole West Indian folk tale. I don't question it I just go along with it." She said making us both chuckle.

We stood back after April did her work and I never noticed I was crying until she handed me a tissue. It wasn't just because I found today hard; it was the fact I never ever let anyone in like this, to be at my sister and mothers graveside and here April is and has made more of an effort than my own family. She didn't know them, she did this because she's just a kind soul and is here to support me. It's a little gesture but it means more than I ever imagined it would. She didn't even say a word she just hugged me. It didn't even feel weird crying around her.

Reginald what is becoming of you?

April said a prayer then said she will leave me to have my moment with them and she will meet me back at the car.

"You approve?" I said and laughed. "I know you both would be giddy over her and I know you guys would have loved her. It's just a shame the one time I see a potential in someone I don't have you lot here to do the motherly and sisterly thing you would do. But I tell you what. Im going to keep doing me, keep making you guys proud. Lord knows I would do anything to have you guys back. I say this all the time but I really miss you guys. We was the three amigos and a year don't go by where I don't yearn for you guys to be here. But... I know I gained two angels who never steer me wrong. See you guys soon." I said as I poured some white rum by the graveside, took a swig for myself and headed back to my car.

April was in her car, as she saw me coming down she got out.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Jump in." I said to her as I opened my car door. She walked round and jumped in.

"Everything okay?"

"Well considering the day it is... yeah. Listen, no female other than family even know my mum and sister aren't alive; or even know anything about my family. And here you are someone I haven't even known a year; not only knows, but is here with me at the cemetery. That's a big deal for me. On top of that... you came with these simple yet big gestures for my sister and my mum who you don't know, didn't even meet. For me, that's a big deal. I've been enjoying our time together and all we do is spend time in and outside of work. I can't even believe I'm going to say this because it's not something I say. But... April, I'm not here for the games. I see potential in you, in us. I reckon it's time to take it to the next step... but the real question is... how do you feel?"

The whole time I was talking, I didn't look at April. I couldn't. So when I looked up at her, her eyes were glistening.

"Wow. I never expected that." She said as she took out the tissue to stop herself from crying. "That really was beautiful Reggie. I didn't expect it. Especially on a day like today with how much it means to you. But I'm glad you did share how you feel, because I genuinely feel the same and think we are on the same page..."

As she was speaking her phone rang. And it wasn't her main phone.

"... Ah hell. Sorry Reggie I got to take this."

"Hello?"

"Hi April, your mums taken another turn..."

"... I'm on my way."

"Reggie, mums taken another turn. I really hate to end things like this. But I have to go."

"It's cool I understand. You want me to come?"

"No no. I don't know what state she's in and I wouldn't want to burden you with that especially not today. I'll call you." She said as she got out of the car and made her way to hers. She stopped, turned around and walked to my car door. I wound the window down. She leant in and gave me a long passionate kiss.

"This conversation is not over..." she said as she walked off to her car.

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