roots | daryl dixon

10 | this is the end

***Trigger warning for those affected by self-harm and abuse. There are mentions of both in this chapter, and I caution you highly as I understand the sensitivity of these subjects.***

When Lou woke the next morning, her head was a whirl, and she felt the need to vomit. She noticed an arm draped across her body, and became incredibly aware of the body behind hers. She chose to ignore a certain appendage poking her, and rose quietly and slowly, hoping to avoid disturbing the man she'd slept with. Daryl barely stirred, even when his arm dropped down onto the couch when she got up.

Lou grabbed her head, rushing to the bathroom, letting out the contents of her stomach. She groaned, holding her hair back as she spits into the toilet. She flushed, then went to rinse her mouth in the sink, hearing movement in the main room. She spits out the water in her mouth and wiped at her lip, going back into the room. "Morning." She said to Daryl, watching as he quickly pulled on a shirt. 

She knew why he didn't want her to see him without a shirt, she'd felt it the night before when she'd run her fingers down his back. She didn't know the story but felt no need to pry, despite her growing curiosity. If he wanted her to know, then he'd tell her. "Mornin'." He replied, giving her a quick glance.

The two went down to the cafeteria, where T-Dog was serving up eggs. Lou seated herself next to Glenn, rubbing his back as he groaned. She took the pill bottle from Rick as he offered it to her, and handed two pills to Glenn, taking two for herself. She felt someone staring at her, and looked up to see Daryl staring at her neck. She used the napkin dispenser to get a look at her neck, and caught sight of a few bruises there, clearly Daryl's doing. She pulled her hair in front of her shoulder, trying to cover it.

Dale brought up the subject of looking for answers, and Jenner leads the way into the large room with all the computers. He brought up a video on the massive screen, showing the playback of someone turning. Then, Jenner told the computer to scan ahead, and they could see the brain lighting up, red and black taking over the patient's brain entirely. Lou jumped when she saw a flash come across the screen, realizing that the patient had been put down. 

Lou rubbed at her neck, feeling panic set in. She tried to fight the attack she knew was oncoming, feeling Glenn rub her back as her breathing became erratic. There was a ringing in her ears as she slid to the ground. Oh, God, she thought, we're going to die in this goddamn place. 

Dale kneeled in front of his daughter, instructing her to breathe, and to focus on keeping her breaths even. He brought her into the rec room, giving her some space as he went in search of some water. She slowly came back around, glancing around to see Jacqui and Carol nearby, closely watching her. She knew that was at her father's request, in case she passed out during her attack. "I'm okay," she told them, "it was just a panic attack. Where is everyone?" 

"Rick, Shane, T-Dog, and Glenn went down to the basement to see if there's any more fuel for the generators," Carol replied, getting up from the couch.

"I think I'm going to lie down in my room a little, I'm no use to anyone if another panic attack hits." She said, then slowly made her way back to her and Daryl's room. She wasn't expecting him to be there but lowered herself to the ground beside him when she noticed the bottle in his hand. 

"How'd you get those scars on your back?" She asked bravely, taking the bottle from his hand and swallowing some of the wine.

Daryl looked at her questioningly, and she shrugged, "if we're gonna die here, I'd like to know. I felt the scars last night when we were in the shower. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." She pulled up the sleeve to her plaid shirt, showing the white lines littering her arm.

Daryl considered this, and said, "my dad. He was an angry drunk. You?"

"Got pregnant with my abusive ex-boyfriend. I lost the baby, and he made me think it was my fault. I wanted to end it all." She said solemnly.

"What about now?" He asked.

"Huh?" 

"You wanna end it now?" He clarified, again handing the bottle to her for her to sip.

"No." She answered, sipping the wine, "I wanna live. It doesn't seem to matter much, though. Looks like we're all gonna die today."

"You don't know that." He retorted.

The lights and the air conditioning shut off at this moment, and the two jumped up, making their way to the door, where Jenner was walking down the hall. They followed the man back out into the computer room as he told them the building was shutting itself down. He explained to the group that the French had been the ones to hold out until the end, and shortly after, an alarm rang out. Vi stated loudly that they had thirty minutes until decontamination, and Lou looked up in horror as the doctor punched in a code that caused the door to slide shut. She knew what this meant. 

"He just locked us in!" Glenn cried.

Daryl caught the look of fear on Lou's face, pushing the bottle of wine into her hands, "go get our stuff."

Lou normally wouldn't take orders, but the look on Daryl's face convinced her, and she broke into a sprint down the hall, but she glanced back just long enough to catch sight of Daryl charging at Jenner, shouting at him in anger. 

She returned to the large room to find Daryl swinging at the door with an axe, and the group all having individual meltdowns.  She came just in time to hear Vi defining the faculty-wide decontamination. The entire building would implode, and the group was currently stuck inside. 

Lou slid to the floor, watching the clock counting down humbly. She could faintly hear the sounds of people arguing, and could see sparks coming from her peripheral vision where Daryl and Shane were slamming the door with the axes. Her entire vision blurred momentarily as she dissociated. Then, she was being pulled up and a hand wrapped around hers, tugging her along. 

Daryl leads her through the now-open doorway, and they rushed up the stairs with the rest of the group. When they got to the entrance, they were met with bulletproof glass. Someone tried to shoot it, stupidly, and another threw a chair at it, which bounced off. Carol stepped forward and pulled a grenade from her bag, handing it to Rick. 

Lou heard the pin being pulled and dropped down to the floor, feeling an arm pulling her into Daryl's body beside her. There was a ringing in her ears as they got up and jumped through the now shattered window. 

She made the mad dash to Daryl's truck, not noticing her father wasn't behind her. She jumped into the cab of the old truck, catching sight of her father and Andrea running towards the vehicles before Daryl jumped in behind her, covering her body with his. She cried out, praying her father would make it. There was an excruciating heat she felt pass over the vehicle, then she and Daryl sat up to see the remains of the building. She could see Andrea and her dad get into the RV, and sighed, running a hand through her blonde hair. 

Tears trailed down her face as Daryl started the truck and pulled onto the road.