on the river

Sidney looked at Charlotte in awe, she was right. Marriage is a question of compatibility. Compatibility, love and affection. To be honest, he knew she was compatible. He felt a great affection for her and to be honest he knew from the first ball that he was in danger. In danger of falling in love with her.

A little smile twitched on his face, his eyes seemed to say a thousand words. She looked at him shyly and she seemed not to understand what he wanted to tell her.

Even with all their fights, he knew there was more to it. That it was her. At the same time he felt strong and weak and he liked it. Charlotte gave him no choice but to reconsider himself and his actions, even though he didn't know what to do near her. This twisting feelings in him, whether he should shout at her or kiss her senseless. Now again. Should he try to kiss her or have a conversation with her? Would she kiss him back or push him into the water. He smiled at this thought.

His eyes didn't leave hers for a moment, she breathed deeply as he leaned back to her, her hands got cold under his and he squeezed them a little. Charlotte blushed slightly and her lips opened, her breath trembled. Sidney wondered how she would react if he leaned towards her rather than back. He wanted her to feel his affection, he wanted to breathe her in.

Touching her hands wasn't enough. The brief touch at her waist and her thigh wasn't enough. She was shivering in this moment as he had done so, and he wanted to see more shivers because of his touch.

As Charlotte leaned in his direction he changed his position and leaned also in. Her breath hitched, he smiled, she smiled back, he leaned further, than..... were their interrupted by the most annoying voice.

"Sidney!" 

Mrs. Campions voice was pulling him back to reality and he saw Charlotte shrink in her seat. Didn't look up anymore, hold on the oars so desperate her knuckels went white. Sidneys thoughts were spinning. What would he do now?

Went back to Eliza and her company and left Charlotte? 

Disappoint her and him to do so? Or should he disappoint Eliza and also his brother to stay where he was? Disappointing all expectations at him.

Mrs. Campion seemed to expect more from him, just only acompany her.

What was Charlotte expecting him to do?

He wanted to do the right thing, but he didn't know what it was in this moment.

So he turned to Eliza waved his akwark little three finger wave to her and looked down to the second pair of oars.

Charlotte couldn't belive how stupid she was. She had tried to put him from her mind, tried to avoid him and this woman and as he asked her for the boat trip she couldn't resist to join him. She had thought they had a special moment, she thought in this moment he was reffering about their realtionship, but he was talking about Mrs. Campion. Stupid, stupid Charlotte she grumbled in her mind. She knew it!

How could she ever thought he would feel something for her?

As he stood up to get the second pair of oars, she knew they would be heading back, he would go and take Mrs. Campions arm and went with her out of sight. She couldn't bring herself to look up to him or to the Lady at the riverbank. Starring down, without seeing something Charlotte tried to calm her heart and breath the tears away, which were burning in her eyes.

She was taken aback as he sat down on his seat and asked in a soft voice.

"Can I ask you something, Miss Heywood?" she looked at him briefly and looked down again.