Mr. E

#084

I'M SORRY

From quenguerrero@gmail.com
To hopieliza@gmail.com
Date March 30, 2020, 11:34 PM
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Dear Hope,

Hi. This is Enrique. Sorry for emailing you right now. I told myself I'll wait till you're ready but I can't just wait here in silence. I'm sorry

First of, I wanna say sorry for hiding the truth. I want you to know that yes, I did that on purpose but not because of the reasons you've told me the last time we talked but because I got scared.

Being Mr. E serves as my outlet, where I can express myself freely. I gotta live and say whatever the hell I want without thinking about what others might think. I gotta live my life knowing I could be better, that I could be that soft and hero-like without having to go through the world's judgement of my sudden change of behavior. I got to have the courage, the courage to talk to the girl I liked the most though at first it wasn't my intention.

All I wanted is to give you a warning, I just want you out of your asshole of an exboyfriend's grasp. He's a cheating asshole and he doesn't deserve you so I told you everything that I've known.

I was supposed to only give you a warning then I'll drop it. But I got greedy. I want more. I wanna know you more, I gotta enjoy talking to you and I wanted more.

I crave for more of you until I can't help my feelings anymore.

Niligawan kita.

Ginusto kita.

Minahal kita.

I'm sorry Hope. I'm so sorry. It wasn't my intention to lie but that exactly what I did when I hid the truth.

I'm sorry for not telling you earlier.

I'm sorry for being a coward.

I'm sorry for loving you this much.

I'm so sorry for not waiting and still doing this to you. I just can't take this anymore.

I can't see you everyday walking inside the campus, looking miserable. I can't stand the fact that I'm the reason behind that. I can't live knowing I'm hurting you.

I can't live knowing that my mere existence could shatter you into pieces that you have to take another way just so we won't bump on each other. I can't stand the fact that I'm the reason behind those tears in your eyes

I promise myself to not hurt you but here I am, doing the same bullshit I swore I'd never do.

I'm sorry Hope Elizabeth. I'm so sorry.

I may had lie about things I shouldn't have lied on but I hope you believe me when I say I love you. I truly love you Hope, I truly love you way before I knew it... way before your heart feels it.

But don't worry, this is the last time you'd hear from me. After this, I'll be gone for good.

I hope you'll be happy then. I hope to see the glimmer in you eyes again. I hope you'll have your smile back. I hope you gotta live your name again. Hope...

Farewell my Hope Elizabeth Salazar. Till I see you then.

  

Mahal kita.

Your's always,

Quen.