I choose me.

Part 26: The darkness

When she got home she didn't call Crawford, she called Kevin. "Olivia."

"Can you talk?"

"Yes." He sighed.

She closed her eyes and said it, "She's pregnant?"

"Liv-"

"Tell me!" She snapped.

"Yes."

"How far along?"

"I don't know, like three months." Her legs gave out.

"Is he there?"

"You don't want to do this."

"IS HE THERE?" She yelled.

"Yes he is, but I'm not going to give him the phone and don't call him—just leave it."

"Kev-"

"Liv, just leave this alone!" She dropped the phone and went into her room, stripped down to nothing, remembering the hopelessness and fear of having her daughter ripped away from her, she dug into her sock drawer and threw the bible against the window and pulled out the razor but she didn't use it, she threw that against the wall and cried into her pillow.

BENNY (MAY)

"I need to talk to you." Yvette was standing at the foot of his bed, he set his phone down and looked up at her.

"I have a phone Yvette." He said more meanly than he should have. She crossed her arms, pushing up her breasts and glared at him, then stared at her shoes. "I'm listening."

"I'm just got back from the doctor, I'm pregnant." She said without a smile.

The Earth dropped out from under him, the oxygen was gone in an instant and he jumped up. "What? What did you say?" She took a step back toward the door.

"I-I'm pregnant, almost four weeks-"

It felt like every thought he'd ever had was speeding through his mind, then he got angry, his default reaction to most things, "You said you were on birth control!" He yelled and she cringed.

"I might have missed a pill or two or forgot! Don't yell at me!" She said in a scared tone, wiping at the black mascara streaks down her pale cheeks.

"Was this your plan, to get knocked up? I don't want a fucking kid!" He turned and swung, punching the mirror hung up next to the window. She screamed.

"No, there was no plan! I didn't mean to, what the hell is wrong with you, do you think I want to be having your baby while you're flying all over the country, chasing that bitch?" Yvette was crying harder.

Benny's vision got blurry and he felt like he was going to implode, he just started yelling and hitting more of his furniture....

The next thing he remembered, he was sitting on the floor, his hands and knuckles all cut up, mirror shards and wood splinters were everywhere, the T.V. was on it's side and his mattress was up against the wall, he hadn't remembered doing any of that. He rubbed his aching head, a baby? Not a baby with Olivia, not their baby. It couldn't have been timed worse, he hit his fists gently against his head, what a mess. Slowly he came out of his bedroom, Kevin was on the couch with Yvette, an arm around her shaking shoulders, Ronan was sitting on the counter in the kitchen, everyone looked at him when he came out, Kevin giving him a disappointed look. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink and then sat next to Yvette on the couch, Kevin moved his arm and went into the kitchen with Ronan.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"I didn't do this on purpose." She sniffled, not looking at him.

"I know, that—I, I'm sorry." He put his arm around her and kissed her temple, a loving motion, love he didn't feel for her. "You gotta get rid of it." Benny said immediately and Yvette looked over at him with such disgust, it made him ashamed.