My Journey

Introduction

My journey begun without a real purpose, situations and circumstances led me to do self-soul searching, a question battled within, "what is the purpose of my life?"

My appearance, the betrayal, poverty, struggle and pain, do I just break down. I was too scared to separate from these and run away. My thought processes back then rang dumbbells, "Will running away lead me to a better life?"

These questions were pumping in my head. "If I do, will I be accepted."

Instead of running away, I chose the road to ignore the hurt and struggles but focused to educate myself, became a workaholic, and somewhere along the line, became hard-hearted. I studied while I worked and worked and worked. From 18 years of age, I stepped into the world of employment.

My self-esteem was very low in those days, I got easily broken down hence all these years, never let anyone know of my pain which was well hidden within.

My smile, body posture and attitude had people thinking she is the iron lady. The outer appearance misleads many. Little did they know that this iron lady had a soft heart, filled with emotions. Many nights, I quietly cried, not letting my own know.

I got shunned down many times, opinions were made based on the assumptions. The opinions strongly mattered to me then however now it does not matter to me anymore. But these incidents created a new me.

I was judged, everyone thinks, they are better than anyone else. That is true, we should always be confident and have high self-esteem, but do we have to belittle and judge someone else, how does this make you superior over others. I believe everyone is unique in their own ways. So why judge and belittle each other?

Today, I am loved by few and adored because of my personality, behaviours and accomplishments, but I say, this was never going to happen, situations showed me my path.

Looking back to the journey of my life, maybe this was meant to happen to make me a better and an accomplished woman.

Educating self, being seen and heard in the organization and adoration of my families, accepting self-weakness, was part of my journey.

There will be love and hate relationships, don't let the hate relationships overpower the love relationships.

Every person in the world has the right to like and dislike, if we are one of their dislikes that is fine, don't get upset. My secret was to just stay away, lesser they see you, lesser the trouble.

At a point in my life, I simply got hurt and stressed when people did not acknowledge my presence with smiles and greetings. This affected me very much, I got disturbed thinking what if he/she doesn't like me, or thoughts would erupt as someone must have filled the person's mind with negatives about me.

I know this may sound stupid but this is the fact. I lost my confidence because of others behaviour towards me and it was not worth it.

It was a fright for me when once someone told me, it is always like this, these moments will pass, hang in there, you will be slapped around for a while and then the same hands will pick you up again. Don't be mistaken I am not talking about the divine power in heaven but I am referring to people in power on earth.

They don't realize in that process many breaks and never finds their way up.

But I proved this wrong, I kicked back, realized, analysed, fought like a warrior and achieved my milestones.

There are few ladies in my life who has inspired me and through their lives, I have learned a lot.

This book is written to make women realize they have a life; they are breathing and they need to be respected in all aspects of whether it be at home or in employment.

My mum, she was a lovely lady who kept smiling even in pain and struggles, she never lost her faith in God even when she was on her deathbed. While she was breathing her final breath in the hospital, she sang along "I surrender to you, my lord". Her teachings are a blessing to me.

She kept her six children in close-knit. Whether it was an internal bickering or small humps and bumps, she ensured no hearts are sore in the end.

There are a few women with the heart of compromises, subdued and undermined their happiness to provide for their children.

The painful cries, emotions and hurt trapped somewhere inside their bodies yet smiling and being happy in what they are and have.

This is not a sign of weakness but their strength and choices in life. Yet is accomplished as a daughter, wife and mother.

A few women who are the pillars of strength for their husband and children, bold and beautiful, establish their thoughts, determined with a purpose and cares less on who likes or dislikes them.

Out of all struggles in life, they pushed forward. It is a beautiful moment when you see the outlook of life with positivity and what learnings we can get out of it.

I have seen different leadership styles in my career: one style of leadership, that opened the door of an opportunity for first employment.

Yet another one, threw challenges my way and was not ready to take a 'No' from me.

Yet, another who saw potential nurtured me, threw challenges, disciplined and picked me when I was shattered. He polished a rough gemstone and yet another who showed his superiority with ego and broke my confidence.

I did not sit back and cry over the broken confidence but stepped back, analysed self, challenged the setbacks and pushed forward.