𝐈𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨

June 15th, 2016

(Bill's POV)

The dull ache in my hand throbbed against the steering wheel as I drove and I fought the urge to nervously tap my fingers for the sake of ruining the nice awkward silence between myself and (Y/N). I had asked her to carpool with me to Derry in case one of us started to forget again. At least, that's what I believed at the time.

It had only been two hours into the estimated ten-hour drive from California to Maine when the weather outside turned for the worst and rain started beating down onto the roof of my car. It stuck with us even as we entered Maine and I suspected it wouldn't let up until later into the night.

Throughout the drive, my phone would light up with missed calls from both Audra and the director, both of whom were less than pleased about my absence. (Y/N) had hardly spoken during the trip besides announcing directions when I couldn't convince the GPS to work in my favor. I noticed that she hadn't stopped picking at the bandage wrapped loosely around her palm. It had only recently stopped bleeding and it made me wonder why it had reopened after all these years.

I cleared my throat and adjusted my grip on the steering wheel. "So why did yours start bleeding and mine didn't?" I asked, trying not to avert my gaze from the road but doing so anyway. (Y/N) shrugged and looked up from her lap to face me. "I've always been more sensitive than the rest of the guys." We made eye contact for the first time in a while and I smiled sadly.

When I looked into her eyes I felt like I was searching for something buried deep within her gaze. Something that I prayed would eventually surface but never did. That was what drew me toward her back in college.

My phone lit up again, reminding me to turn my attention back to the road. Audra's face took up the majority of the screen and I felt like she was staring right at me. My fingers twitched to shut it off.

I'm grateful that I silenced it back in Utah after her tenth or so call. I hadn't felt like explaining everything to her when I hadn't yet understood it for myself. All I knew for sure was that (Y/N) and I were road-tripping to our childhood home because we were needed there. But knowing Audra, that wouldn't have been a good enough explanation. Especially after our fight at the studio.

"You can pick it up, you know." (Y/N) nodded toward the phone and I gulped. "What?"

She looked at me with her eyebrows raised. "The phone. Aren't you going to answer it?" 

 I bit my lip and focused my gaze on the vibrating device in the cupholder. With no other excuse, I picked it up and prepared myself for the lecture I was about to receive from my wife.

"Hello?" There was a long sigh on the other end. While it wasn't the screaming I was imagining for the last 9 ½ hours, it was somehow worse.

"Bill."

I rolled my eyes and pursed my lips. "Audra." Here it comes.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Well actually-" "Running off with the set assistant in the middle of a take on the last day of filming? Are you fucking crazy!?" I winced as she interrupted me. There it was; the anticipated screaming. I could picture her pacing our living room in her pajamas with a glass of cheap red wine swirling in her hand as she spun in slow circles. The way she emphasized (Y/N)'s role, as if it were below her or somehow inferior, it bugged me.

"Ok, first of all, she's the set designer. Not the assistant. Without her, you wouldn't have a movie to act in." I could make out (Y/N)'s eyes widening in the darkness of the car. It occurred to me that she was only hearing my end of the conversation.

"Assistant, designer, whatever. I don't care if she's the queen of the fucking silver screen. It doesn't change the fact that you up and abandoned your life's work and your wife to rendezvous with this chick."

"Babe." I held the phone away from my ear and allowed a long sigh to slip from my lips. "I can't explain this to you now but I need you to trust me."

"No, you know what, Bill? Tomorrow I am going to work and if you're not in that studio by noon I'm going to tell the director that he can end the movie however he wants. It's out of your hands." Before I could come up with a retort that came even close to the gravity of her threat, the line went dead.

The silence of the car was suffocating. I dropped my phone back into the cupholder and ran a sweaty hand through my hair. The tension hung thick in the air and I resisted the urge to open my mouth and bite down on nothing.

"So..." (Y/N) filled the silence with her soothing voice, speaking just above a whisper. "She thinks you're having an affair with me?"

I blinked twice. Of course, she was right. That had been the backbone of the conversation between Audra and I. But hearing her say it pulled a different string in my heart. "Uh, yes."

She nodded and brought her hands up to cup her temples, a look of muted distress evident on her face even in the darkness of the car. "We should head back."

My foot slammed on the brakes and we both jolted forward. I glanced into the rearview mirror to see that the one way backroad to Derry was completely desolate. She looked at me with a look of mixed surprise and pity. "Wh-What?" I stuttered.

"You're obviously needed elsewhere and I don't want to get you in trouble with your wife. You should just turn around, I can take my own car to Derry tomorrow."

An unexplained sense of fear overwhelmed my senses and I found myself leaning closer to the passenger seat and grabbing her bandaged hand with my own scarred one. "(Y/N), we s-swore that w-we'd come b-back!"

She eyed our intertwined hands and then looked up at me. Her eyebrows furrowed briefly. "Did you...did you just stutter, Bill?"

I averted my eyes back to the steering wheel. "Yeah-yeah I think I did."

Without uttering another word, I lifted my foot from the brake and eased it onto the gas. Neither of us looked up to see the Welcome to Derry sign as we passed it just seconds later. We crossed an eerily familiar stone bridge over a roaring black river. I glanced at the passenger seat briefly just to catch (Y/N)'s reflection in the fogged window. My eyes flickered from her face to the one reflecting onto the glass window, recognizing a difference but not being able to decipher what.

It would be hours from now while lying in my hotel bed that I finally realized that I had seen the image of a younger (Y/N) smiling and suppressing giggles as she blinked right back at me. 

 (A/N: So one thing I hate in fanfictions is when someone makes the spouse of a character 'compete' with the reader and make them completely out of character and mean for no reason. I tried to make Audra sound as reasonable as possible but...yeah. Anyway, I have online classes tomorrow and it's 1:30 AM so I have to edit this later cause I can't tell the difference between a comma and a period as of right now. Plz comment if you see any mistakes. XOXO!!)