The Spectrum

12

"You are?"
"Yep," he swallows his sandwich and smiles over at me. "I got my diagnosis a couple of years ago." He picks up a chip and pops it in his mouth. "I didn't want to at first, but my sister convinced me." He casually states as he eats another chip. I watch him chew for a moment. Transfixed on those plump lips that spread into a gentle smile and asks: "when did you get yours?"
"Huh?" I blink to wake myself up. My eyes returning to my empty plate. "When I was young my mum took me."
"What does she do?"
"She's dead. She died giving birth to me." I poke at my abandoned sandwich.
"I'm so sorry," he says. Reaching out for my hand he entwines his fingers with mine and a soothing warmth glides up my entire arm, heating my blushing cheeks.
"I think that's why my dad hates me."
"What?" He squeezes my hand. "How could he hate you?"
"I don't know," I peer up at him with watery eyes. My throat constricting as the words leave my lips. I'd always wondered why my Dad hated me, always wondered why he hurt me. I'd eventually put it down to regret, resentment for the pain I caused from being born. My existence made him miserable. I knew that. I didn't understand it though.
"Sometimes I just want to run away," I say, barely audibly. "I can't take much more."
"You don't have to!" He takes my other hand and holds them closer to his chest so I was leaning closer to him. "You have me. You don't need to be afraid of anything, Beck."

My eyes finally meet his and he leans in capturing my lips with his own. His lips are just as soft as I imagined. He kisses me tenderly, as if I might break. His hands sliding into my hair as his tongue teases mine. "You're so beautiful," he breathes. His breath tickling my cheeks. "Is this okay?"
I nod, moving my hands to gently trace his perfect jawline with my fingertips, "Thank you."
He grins, a smile so bright he could replace the sun. "For what?"
"For everything," I smile. Resting his head against mine he pecks my lips.
"If you need anything call me and I'll come get you."
"Bu-"
"No buts, Beck, you call me." He stares into my eyes. His face stern, his grey eyes wide. "Promise me."
"I promise," I nod, and he kisses me. A scorching kiss which drags the air right from my lungs. When his lips leave mine I'm breathless.

"You want to come over tonight?" He asks, returning to his chips. "Big sis, is making lasagne."
"Sure," I grin at him as I remember his interactions with her. Their squabbling had put a smile on my face. I liked her.
"Don't get excited though, it's like, the only thing she can make." He rolls his eyes and I giggle.

                                    *********

The last time I was in his room I freaked out. Being in it again, right now, felt strange somehow. He'd left me alone to go get us hot chocolate, so I took the chance to drool over his book collection. Every single one made my heart leap when I read the title. It seemed Ky was an avid collector of special editions, as well as comic books.

Dinner had been superb. His sister could really handle the kitchen. I'd kept out of the way, not wanting to cause any awkwardness like the last time I was here. Thankfully, she'd been happy to see me. Which was surprising. She also approved of Ky holding my hand throughout the entire meal.

"It's so good to finally see my brother with someone who isn't an absolute bitch," she'd said. I'd choked on my water as Ky groaned, shoving a forkful of pasta into his mouth.
"I'm sorry but, yeah, they were all short skirts and fake tits and now you finally have a woman. Someone who you can connect with intellectually."
"Thank you, Dr Phil. Can you stop."
"Kyle's not the best at relationships." She tells me as she leans in like Ky's not there.
"I don't think that's true." I say and her face scrunches in amusement.
"She's a keeper." She says to him, pointing at me with her thumb.
"God. Just. Stop." He says between gritted teeth.
"Fine," she surrenders and leaves the table. Ky glances at me rubs his chin. "Sorry about her."
"Nah, she's kinda sweet." I smile. I sincerely liked the woman. She was cute, fun and loved her brother so much. I could tell by the way she spoke his name. Anyway isn't teasing showing love between siblings? Not having any myself, I wasn't sure but it's what I heard.
"Sweet." He tests the word on his tongue. "Not the word I'd use but alright." He digs back into his food.