Not What He Seems

Chapter 5

Sam and Dean pick up their conversation again later, after Dean's had a little time to let this sink in. This time, Sam is sitting on the edge of his bed, Riot lying down on the floor in front of him. Dean is also sitting on the floor, using the bed as a backrest.

It's the perfect arrangement. If Sam needs someone to comfort him, Riot can just hop up with him. If Dean starts yelling, Riot is only a few steps away from eating his throat. How much better could it be?

"I know this is going to sound crazy to you, and I don't even necessarily need you to understand," Sam says. "But you need to know. I didn't just drop out, Dean. I found something — something I'd never had all my life."

Riot's not sure whether he should be honored that he brought Sam his first taste of a normal life, or feel bad that it's the only one he's ever had.

"What was her name?" Dean asks, knowing exactly what he's talking about but seeming as uninterested in it as possible.

Sam seems a little surprised by the not-so-hostile reaction, but answers him anyway. "Amelia."

Dean nods slowly. "So, what, you dropped your peanut butter in her chocolate? What happened?"

Sam sighs and ruffles Riot's fur with his foot — something he's never liked, but he can't complain when Sam's in a mood like this.

"She helped my dog."

Dean scoffs. "Are you telling me you've had this thing since day one?"

"Not quite —"

"I disappear, and you throw all my rules out the window immediately?"

"What, you wish I left him lying half dead in the road?" Sam asks.

Riot shudders at the memory.

"Instead of dropping a bleeding hunk of dog in my car? Yeah, kinda!"

Riot growls, keeping the noise low so they can't tell he's actually pissed that Dean basically wished he was dead. As far as they know, he just thinks they're being too loud.

Still, it doesn't stop Dean from flinching and shooting him a glare.

Sam sighs and changes the subject. "And what about you?"

"What about me?" Dean asks defensively.

"Well, look at you," Sam says. "You've still got that look. You're shaky, you're on edge."

Dean shoots him a look. Clearly, he didn't want anyone to point that out, but even Riot noticed that there's something going on with him.

"What was it like?" Sam asks.

Dean looks away, turning his gaze to the wall ahead of him instead. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Riot can tell that it's a defense mechanism. He doesn't want to talk, and he sure as hell doesn't want to look at anyone while he does. Still, Riot's really interested in how a hunter disappears for a year, so far out of reach that his own brother can't find him.

"Try me," Sam says.

Dean hesitates, but gives in after a few seconds. "It was bloody, messy..." He stares off ahead of him, like his mind's already brought him back to whatever hellscape he crawled out of. "31 flavors of bottom-dwelling nasties."

Riot almost feels like he should go over to Dean now. His instinct has always been to protect his family and their loved ones, and that includes Dean, even if the guy doesn't like him. But he knows it would just piss him off, so Riot stays put, letting him talk.

"Most days, it felt like 360-degree combat," he continues. "But there was something about being there... it felt pure."

Riot watches him for a few moments, but Dean's gone in every sense except physical. He's off in his own head, reliving every memory he swore to forget. It didn't help answer any of the questions Riot had, but wherever Dean was, it obviously wasn't pleasant. Yet again, Riot's dog instinct kicks in, and he wants to cheer him up again.

Unfortunately, he knows he's the last person who could make Dean feel any better. If anything, he'd just snap Dean out of his trance so the guy could shoot him. That's about all he's come to expect from him, and there's not much he could do about it.

So Riot just hops up on the bed and lies down by Sam's side. He can just stay here and let Sam do whatever he feels is necessary — which seems to be absolutely nothing. Maybe it's for the best. The guy's a pain in the ass, and every painful moment he spends in his head is one less moment he spends bothering Sam.