My Girl

Lucy wakes me up at an ungodly hour

"Cameron!" Lucy sounds beyond excited. "Cute boy alert!"

She woke me up at eight-thirty on a Saturday to FaceTime about a boy? Why am I surprised? I try to force a smile. "Who is he?"

"So you know my friend Hannah?"

"Hannah Bray?"

"Yeah, so she's dating this guy named Ryan, right?"

"Okay?" I think I know Ryan. He's in our year, and I'm pretty sure he goes to Westbrook. (I go to Northbrook, and Lucy goes to Southbrook. Yeah, I know, the schools have stupid names.)

Lucy is beaming. "So Ryan's friends with this guy named Luke, who is absolutely perfection."

"Wait," I ask, "Luke Bennet?" 

"You know him? How?"

I chuckle. "Lucy, there's really not that many people in Brookside." 

"But how do you know him?"

"I've known him since we were kids! Our moms are friends."

"Seriously?" Lucy sounds happy. I guess she thinks I'm going to set her up with Luke. And yeah, that probably is what's going to happen. 

"Wait," I say, "so did he dm you or something?"

Lucy smiles. "No, he didn't do anything. He's just adorable and I'm in loooooooooove with him."

"You're not actually in love," I say, and Lucy says, completely sarcastic, "What do you mean? I am totally head-over-heels in loooooooove."

She's laughing her head off, her hair floofing all over the place, and shit. Why does she have to be so hot?

"Just to clarify," I say, "Luke has never actually talked to you?" Wait a minute, am I jealous?

"He's never actually talked to me. But Luke told Ryan he's looking for a chick, and Ryan told Hannah—"

"Why did Ryan tell his girlfriend that his friend wants a girlfriend? That's kind of random. Also, can I just say that I hope you aren't seriously considering dating someone who says 'chick.'"

"Cameron," Lucy smirks, "you talk like an english teacher."

I scoff. "Whatever. I have to get ready for school."

"It's Saturday, Cameron. It's fucking Saturday."

Lucy sounds drunk, but she isn't. She's just like this. She's high on life, my mom would say. 

I wish I was high on life. I'm feeling kind of low on life. 

I wish I could get over Lucy. I need to get over Lucy. But the problem is, all roads seem to lead back to her. She's playing over and over in my mind like a song stuck in my head. 

Sometimes I wonder how this can be called love if it just makes me feel terrible? I thought love was supposed to feel nice. But this is love. I know it is. It's this feeling of insatiable hunger, and the knowledge that I will only feel full with her mouth on mine.