Enmity (Empathy - Tome 2)

FØUR

Despite the awful weekend he had spent and the fact that Josh didn't call to make plans like he said he would, Tyler felt a little better when he got out of his music theory class on Monday morning. Music classes always did that to him, although there were already quite a lot of things he'd taught himself online. He always felt lighter just getting to learn about chord progressions and sharing his passion with others. Knowing that he didn't have any other classes today also helped brighten his mood: he could spend the afternoon working on new stuff and he would hopefully see Josh then. Josh who should have been there already...

Tyler frowned at the thought of his best friend – if he could still call him that. Josh was way more social than he had ever been, and he had a tendency to party a lot, but he had never missed a music class, and Tyler hoped he was doing okay. He thought about him the whole way to the dorm. Maybe Josh had decided to stay at his father's for one more day? He couldn't possibly have partied all night last night, it was Sunday. Was he sick?

Tyler wasn't totally paying attention to his surroundings when he reached the hallway where his room was situated and bumped into someone.

"Wow, are you okay?" the stranger started, but his voice dropped as soon as he laid eyes on Tyler.

The boy didn't even get the chance to apologize. The stranger wasn't so much of a stranger now, and Tyler almost choked with surprise. "Ethan?" So much for a good day.

Tyler blinked several times, rubbing his eyes to make sure they were not deceiving him, but Ethan was really there, standing almost proudly in front of him with that smirk on his face. In a flash, Tyler saw memories of that night pass by quickly, as if he was watching a movie in fast forward. He saw Ethan flying across a room, and he felt anger rise in his chest as the boy almost cried for his life, a strong wind brushing his hair away from his face. He felt fear, too, in the hearts of everyone else around him, and remembered how he almost killed Josh when trying to save Mark. Tyler knew it was more than a year ago, but suddenly it all felt like yesterday and he didn't like that.

"Tyler, hey... Are you-"

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Wow, calm down, I'm just-"

Tyler's eyes looked around him for just a second, and the boy didn't let him finish. Anger burst into him like a flame and he strongly pinned Ethan to the wall. He couldn't see clear. All that was left in front of his eyes was the red of fury, and he was surprised uncontrollable things weren't yet happening around them.

"Why are you trying to get into my room?"

"I'm n-"

"If it's revenge you're seeking," Tyler stopped him again, pulling him away and then back again into the wall, "you better-"

"Hey, what's going on here?" Tyler was interrupted. Still clutching on Ethan's collar with both hands, Tyler looked to his side. Josh was standing at the end of the hallway and quickly making his way to them. Tyler felt relieved for an instant, knowing Josh would help him get rid of their high school nemesis. But then Josh reached them and laid a hand on Tyler's arm.

"Let him go, Ty."

The surprise was so strong Tyler did let Ethan go. He took a step back towards the door, mouth agape, eyebrows furrowed. Why did everything feel wrong these days? Did Tyler remember things the other way? Nothing made sense...

"What happened?"

"He was trying to get into our room is what happened!" Tyler said, his voice higher than he had anticipated.

"I was not, I just-"

"Yeah right," Tyler chuckled, "just like you did not help in letting Mark get kidnapped?"

Josh's head turned this way and that, his eyes following each time Tyler or Ethan spoke like they would a tennis ball in a Wimbledon game.

"You know you shouldn't be here, so get out before I-"

"Tyler, calm down." Josh's voice was strong and fearless. He was not just trying to be nice. He was definitely helping Ethan. Tyler gulped, his throat feeling dry and closed up. Was he the bad guy? Was he wrong to think this boy had nothing to do here? He did not belong there, with them, in their dorm. He'd done so many bad things in the past, things Tyler couldn't let go, things Josh shouldn't let go. Tyler took a step back once again, pressing his body against the door. He felt dizzy, and while Josh seemed to be asking questions to the intruder, Tyler couldn't help but feel like he was the one who didn't belong.

"... so they released me and I haven't been on house arrest for the past couple months," Ethan's voice reached Tyler's ears in a destructured way, almost as if he was picking up waves of an old radio station. "And now they've finally allowed me to apply for college, so I'm starting my first semester. I'm in room..." He paused, fiddling with a piece of paper. "Room 19. See?"

He handed the sheet to Josh, who looked at it for a second before handing it to Tyler. It was there, in small printed letter. Ethan Holloway had been assigned Room 19, just a couple of rooms away from Tyler and Josh's 16. Tyler felt bile rise up to his throat. He was disgusted, not only because he thought Ethan shouldn't have been let go so soon and didn't deserve a spot at Ohio State University, but also because he knew in his heart Ethan hadn't changed. He was a bully. He had abused many of his "friends" back in high school, had dealt with drugs and drug dealer and established a gang-like hierarchy with his circle of buddies, all this leading to the kidnapping of Mark and a near-death experience for Josh, who had been shot in the process. The only thing that had saved him was Tyler himself, and if this alone wasn't good enough reason for Josh to never want to see him again...

"It's the very last in the hallway. Welcome to Ohio State, I guess."

Tyler's eyes went up to Josh. The boy was giving out one of these nice little smiles, and for once, all Tyler wanted was to rip it off his face. What was wrong with him?

"Hey Tyler," Ethan started after thanking Josh as if they were old friends who had missed each other dearly, "I already did that with Josh but... I really wanted to apologize for... y'know, what happened back in high school. I'm really s-"

"I don't need your apology," Tyler spat, and before anyone could say anything, or before he burst out with anger and punched someone, anyone, the boy turned around and disappeared through the door of his room, slamming it behind him. He threw his bag on the floor and paced around for a second before he heard hushed voices in the hallway and decided the bathroom was a better option to try and calm down.

Tyler took of his shoes and socks, wanting to feel the cold tiles on his feet, hoping it would help ground him, as it weirdly often did, but nothing happened. If anything, Tyler felt like he was a star ready to burst in a million pieces, his skin hot like hell. Feverish, unable to prevent his limbs from shaking, he tried sitting on the edge of the bathtub but quickly stood up, gripping the edge of the sink and looking at himself in the mirror.

And he couldn't stand it.

He hated it.

His fingers tightened against the sink and he looked down, wishing he could circle the drain and disappear into the plumbing. Why was he still here, really? He was a disappointment to everyone, including himself. He was a good for nothing, a hopeless wannabe songwriter, a useless friend. Unneeded. Unwanted. Even bullies like Ethan seemed to be doing better than he was. All of this was unfair. So unfair.

Tylerclosed his prickling eyes, gripping the sink as if it was the only thing holdinghim up. It was then that the mirror exploded, tiny little shards of glass crumblingeverywhere, cutting Tyler's skin in many places. His face. His hands. His feet.And as he sat down crying, his back hitting the tub, the only thought runningthrough Tyler's mind was this one: just not deep enough.