We Were In Our Teens, It Wasn't Real Love?

5. It Is What We Made It

Soo commented on the last chapter, I didn't reply because I was seeing 3oh!3 last night. I thought you'd prefer if I spent my time writing more than replying however I will reply tomorrow as your comments were fab! This stories reads are AMAZING so far thanks so much <3 you're fab. Comment and Vote if you like xxxxxx

My eyes fluttered open as the blackness in my vision began to fade. Everyone in the room began to move at my slight movement. Max hurried in from the kitchen holding a glass of water, I could see they were all speaking to me as their lips were moving but no sound reached my ears. Was I deaf? I tried to reach for the glass Max was holding out for me but my hands were occupied. A warm hand was wrapped around my now bare wrist, hiding the scars of my depression. My other hand was held by Josh who's piercing eyes were  gazing into my own.

"Where's my jumper?" I asked relieved that I could hear my own voice. I was also thankful that I had put a black vest top on underneath my jumper, why had they taken it off.

"You were too warm," One of the girls told me, I hadn't noticed how pretty they both were. Both had brunette hair but the girl who spoke had slightly golder tones mixed with her natural brown shade. 

"Oh," I nodded still not looking into his eyes. Guilt still consumed me.

"Now that you're okay can I just ask, what the fuck just happened?" Josh wondered giving Dan a death glare. Shit i was going to end up breaking their band up. I sat up quickly grabbing my bag from the floor. I've never been a coward but this time running from my problems was the only answer, well right that second it was anyway.

I fled from Max's house, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be welcome again but seeing Dan had been a massive shock. My past was flooding back and I wasn't sure how much of it I could handle. I could hear feet pounding behind me on my escape, I assumed it was Josh chasing after me but I quickly lost him. I ran to the only place I knew I could go to sit and cry. I regretted running away from Dan though, I knew I was opening fresh wounds but I didnt want everyone and their dog knowing my shit. 

As soon as I reached my destination I sunk to my knees in the dirt, I didnt care I would get filthy. This was my favourite place in Weybridge, I had been coming to the secret garden at the park since I was a little girl. I loved the smell of the flowers here, it was always well kept by the gardener I had made friends with. I wondered whether he still took care of the garden. Even in the dark the garden was glorious, the sweet scent of flowers filled the air around me. I smiled despite my tears and the memories the garden held. No matter what this would always be my happy place. I began to cry yet again as my head filled with memories of the secret garden. I would hold tea parties here for my friend with my Alice and Wonderland tea set. My parents would kiss and cuddle on the bench as I chatted with Joe the gardener, he would tell me about all the different kinds of flowers. Finally I remembered my first kiss here when I was ten years old, it hadn't meant much back then but we weren't to know how our feelings would intensify in the years to come.

A hand rested on my shoulder, making me scream in shock. I'm going to be raped the irrational side of my brain screamed. Slowly I turned my head to face my attacker, blue eyes twinkled in front of me they had tears in them.

"Ella," He gasped kneeling down and pulling my body to his. I rested my head in the crook of his neck inhaling his zesty scent that was mixed with his favourite Jean Paul Gaultier aftershave, somethings never change. I allowed myself to cry into his neck, revelling in the feel of his skin against my cheek. I would make the most of this while I could, surely he hated me for leaving him behind after all we'd been through together? For the millionth time I sobbed at the thought of Dan, my best friend and perhaps back then something more, hating me. It seemed impossible but when I thought of the shattered and broken boy I left behind I agreed he had every right to hate me. 

"Daniel," I choked out his name through my sobs.

"Shhh, it's okay Ella. I'm here darling," He soothed me rubbing patterns into my arm as he cuddled me into his warm body. His touch sent shivers of pleasure across my skin.

"No Dan, you can't say that," I said pulling myself away from him before I did something I'd regret. Stupid really because the second I left his hold my skin went cold and I instantly regretted moving away. 

 "Why can't I say that Ella? Why are you back here anyway? How come you were at Max's too?" He questioned as he pulled his brown hair in frustration. Damn my hands wanted to be messed in his hair so bad. My feelings had not changed at all.

"Because Dan, it's too late. You've always said it too late. I'm Josh's girlfriend," I told him a hysteric laugh escaping my lips. "My dad died, that's why I'm back. I'm sorry I'm here to cause you all this pain again, I really am but as I've said before I gave up on you as anything more than a friend when I was fourteen."

"It didn't stop you kissing me though did it? And Josh, fucking incredible. It could of been any other guy Ella," He said harshly. "Sorry about your dad," He placed a hand on my shoulder, I let him.

"My hormones were everywhere Dan, you kinda pounced on me," I lied and he knew it too. I felt shame. "I didn't know Josh was your new buddy, he fucking lives in your old house. Maybe if you'd made sure an elderly couple or something lived there, you wouldn't have to put up with Josh and me," I screamed in his face.

"You know thats a lie Ells, you fucking know it. I don't like the idea of Josh predding on you, he's at that phase where he just uses girls. I don't want him to hurt you, why cant you see I'm looking out for you?" He shouted back making me wince.

"You make him sound like a paedo, I like Josh very sorry you've got a problem with that mate!" I said dissbelieving the way he was acting.

"Don't call me mate," He said sternly. We were now face to face, our eyes anrgrily starting each other out.

"Why not... Mate?" I knew this would piss him off even more.

"Because, I'm not your mate," He laughed. See I knew he hated me deep down. "Unless you mean soul mate... I fucking love you Ella," He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. With his final five words he had my heart again. I couldn't hide how much his anger turned me on anymore. I crashed my lips against his in a heated kiss. My whole body ignited into fiery flames at our contact, I burned even brighter as his hands pressed our bodies even closer. Our tongues danced together making me moan. I could feel Dan's little friend pressing into me too making me come back to reality.

"Stop," I gasped pushing him away again. I was sick of pushing him away but this was wrong. "I can't do this to Josh, even though it's early days I can't deny the feelings I have for him. This is wrong," Oh so right the voice in my head moaned replaying every touch and taste of our kiss.

"Ella why don't we just skip out the part where you make the stupid mistakes.  I've been and done that enough for us both," Dan pleaded desperately.

"No Daniel, you're gonna sit there and take the fact that I like someone who is not you. Just like I did all the way through school," I said bitterly before searching for my phone and ringing Josh. "Will you meet me at the park, I promise I'll try to explain," I asked when he answered his phone.

"Yup, give me ten minutes, wait opposite Tescos," Josh instructed me.

"It's shit it has to be this way Dan but it is what we made it," I told him my voice almost breaking as I held back tears. I walked away without looking back, I'd broken him again I promised myself this would be the final time.

_______________________________________

BOOM! Sooooo I have flashbacks planned next :) P.S. Any spelling errors ect please point out... This hasn't been checked <3