this was tea that was supposes to be spilt in season one of heartbreakers but i hate myself sooo here we go 🙃
trigger warning: suicide
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gods why was it so empty without her? teddy didnt understand! no amount of laughs or stories or hugs would make it better.
everything was so numb... and everything was so dull.
what even were colours anymore? wjat was outside his room? besides the shower...the boy didnt know. depression had swung in like a thief in the night and promptly crushed him like a big mouth depression kitty.
he was done crying, he was past the grieving stage. the angry stage. he was done with all the stages. and now he was hollow and numb. with no one to love him and no one to care when he was gone.
she said so
and he believed her
he looked at the bright orange of his medication bottle and sighed. maybe this way... 'teddy what are you doing man? het it together!' even as he thought it he opened the cover tipping the bottle to his lips.
and he felt bliss.
~~~~
that damned BEEPING woke teddy up. he cursed as he looked around. alcohol poisoning again? his head split as the beeping continued. he snarled ripping the needles out of him tearing up his arm (where he got his scar). he his and eventually as he held his bleeding arm he sobbed.
once a nurse seen him awake the man rushed away for his family and a doctor to stitch up his arm. his mother and father fawned over him as his stepmother held his sister who's eyes were red with tears.
"oh im so sorry!" he sobbed as he shook against his parents bodies. they cried as they held him harder shaking their heads.
"we love you teddy." the whimpered as they pulled away sniffing. his father wiped his tears as he fixed teddy's hair.
"jesus teddy we fucking love you." he whimpered as his shaky hand rested on his sons cheek. "and we almost lost you."
teddy cried harder as he seen the pain he had put them through turning into a blubbering idiot.
~~~~
the next few months were hard for ted. he was forced to sleep on his moms couch, which hurt his back. and he was on constant watch. but suddenly he realized the love he had with his family. and that love was irreplaceable.
teddy was quite content to sleep on the couch for his mothers peace of mind.
~~~~
ok so this is a lot shorter than the last but id like to take this time to say if you read through it all...thank you.
and if youre here and youre going through something like this, never be afraid to reach out to me.
i would share my story...but im not ready to let you see that side of me this morning. maybe some other day loves.
but if you EVER EVER need anyone never be a stranger I love you all so much even if we dont talk or get along or whatever! i dont care come to me and i will help.
i know its dark and it may never get light again. it may never get easier but trust mw when i say it gets better
it gets so much better guys. and just remember if you think you have no one. that im here. and i love you dearly.
