Wonderland Syndrome

Chapter Four - A Mad Coffee-Party

He stood, clueless, on the stone front steps of the house for a moment, cupping his hands around his eyes and peeking through the small window of the door into the dark house. There was no sign of anyone inside, and it had turned to night outside during his walk, so there was no light to assist him. Either way, the voices he heard seemed to be coming from around the corner, so he abandoned the door and cautiously followed the line of the house until he came to the backyard.

The yard was surrounded by tall, cartoon-ish hedges with strangely trimmed tops, and the only light in the space came from paper lanterns hung on the stretching branches of two trees, growing on opposite corners of the yard, leaving it looking spotty with patches of light and dark. In the center of it, a long, narrow dining table was set in the grass, the ends of the pink tablecloth covered with mud and grass stains.

Lining the table was a series of chairs, ranging from barstools to large library chairs with tall backs and curved armrests. The table was covered in teacups and teapots, some broken into pieces and others overflowing and leaving puddles of what looked like tea on the table. More than one chair was knocked over, but it didn't seem to bother those sitting at the table, and, despite the size of the table, all three guests were crowded at the farthest corner.

Two of the guests, who Jay quickly recognized as Mary and Ty- only to correct himself a moment later, because no, it wasn't, even if it looked like it- were yelling, or talking, depending on your taste in volume, about something or other that Jay's brain couldn't decipher, and the third, Sofi-but-not, was sleeping with her head on the table and a teacup balancing on her head.

Jay pushed open the crooked iron gate with a loud groan of metal and edged his way into the backyard. As soon as he approached closer than five feet, two of the three darted forwards, calling, "No room! NO ROOM!"

"There's lots of room," Jay observed, bending down and grabbing a wooden kitchen chair by the rungs and setting it back up, before taking a seat in it. He knew it was rude to just sit down, but he had been walking for almost an entire day and his feet were sore.

"Wine?" Mary-March Hare offered, gracefully taking a seat next to him. She was wearing a dress shirt and a red blazer, with an oversized bow tie and dress pants, while two brown rabbit ears poked out of the top of her head.

"I don't see any wine," Jay pointed out again, glancing around the table. He took a deep breath and realized that what he had thought to be tea was actually coffee.

"There isn't any," Mary-March Hare shrugged, pouring a cup of coffee from a tall skinny teapot into a short, stubby teacup.

"Then why did you offer me some?" He asked, as Mary-March Hare made him up a cup of coffee, pouring first a small plate, then a cup, followed by coffee and two sugar cubes from an ordinary-looking teapot.

"Why did you sit down without being invited?" Mary-March Hare retorted, not seeming all that bothered and handing the cup to Jay. He took it gently, and set it on the table in front of him.

"Well-" he began, only to be interrupted by Mad Hat-Tyer leaning on the table, their elbow in an egg-shell blue teacup.

"Why is a coat like a bear?" They asked, straightening up and pouring tea down the collar of their shirt, where it flowed back out their opposite sleeve and into a waiting teapot. Their popped white-collar remained spotless, as did the ends of their sleeves, but the oversized top hat they wore fell crooked over their eyes.

"A riddle?" Jay mumbled, and his brain thought about it for a moment without his permission, before he remembered that he didn't have time for such things and instead replied, "Have you seen-"