The Fanta Rabbit cleared their throat, straightening out their bowtie as they nervously looked out across the full courthouse.
"Huh... your majesty," they addressed, "members of the jury... loyal subjects... -" Cheshire-Cookie Cat coughed loudly, obnoxiously, from her place standing on the edge of the ridiculously tall judge stand where Shawm was overseeing the trial- "...and the Cheshire-Cookie Cat," they finished lamely, clearing their throat as they squinted at the obnoxiously long scroll they held. "The prisoner is charged with enticing her majesty, the Queen of Swords, into a game of Poke-her with intent to cheat, and thereby willfully-" Jay tried to object, but was talked over, "-and with malice aforethought, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved-"
Shawm rolled her eyes from the throne, "Don't mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper."
Fanta rabbit sputtered, skimming the scroll and skipping all the way to the bottom, "-Thereby causing the queen to lose her temper."
Shawm chuckled lowly, peering down at Jay. Her loud voice echoed in the long, tall courtroom, her face covered in shadows cast by the shifting light, "Are you ready for your sentence?"
"Sentence?" Jay echoed, sourcing every law and order show he's ever seen, "But there must be a verdict first."
"Sentence first!" Shawm snapped, "Verdict afterwards."
Jay felt frustration building in his chest, "But that isn't the way!"
Shawm's gaze sharpened, cutting right through his resolve, "All ways are...
"Your ways, your majesty," Jay answered placatingly, bowing as best he can from the platform he's been corralled into standing on.
"Yes," Shawm agrees, "Off with his-"
"-Consider, my dear," Cheshire-Cookie Cat interrupted. Anxiety spikes in Jay's chest. God, he was gonna lose his head if he didn't start thinking of a way to get himself out of this. "We called no witnesses. Couldn't we hear one or two?" Shawm glared at her, and Cheshire-Cookie Cat fiddled with the collar around her throat, more sheepish than nervous, "Ha? Maybe?"
"Oh, very well," Shawm rolls her eyes, "But get on with it!"
"First witness! First witness!" Cheshire-Cookie Cat calls, voice sharpening with authority. "Ah, we'll call the first witness."
The Fanta rabbit shifts awkwardly, announcing, "Mary-March Hare," with a faint air of embarrassment.
Two books carry Mary-March Hare in, lifting her by the ears. Jay winced in sympathy, but the girl had a blank look on her face; all her focus seemed to be on balancing her coffeecup in her hands as the books rather roughly tossed her onto the witness stand adjacent to Jay's platform. When she finally did glance up, it was to give the Fanta rabbit a dull wave of acknowledgement before she turned, almost bored, to Cheshire-Cookie Cat.
Cheshire-Cookie Cat paced back and forth, doing a circle around Shawm's throne before looking down at Mary-March Hare, "What do you know about this uh... unfortunate affair?"
Mary-March Hare shrugs, taking a small sip of her coffee and managing to make it look condescending, "Nothing."
Cheshire-Cookie Cat grinned sharply, exposing her sharp teeth, "Nothing whatever?"
Mary-March Hare noded, monotone, "Nothing whatever."
Shawm hummed, then declared, "That's very important! Jury, write that down!"
"Unimportant," Jay corrected before he could stop himself. Then, trying to remedy the mistake he just made, "uh... your majesty means of course..."
YOU ARE READING
Wonderland Syndrome
AdventureThe library was nice at night. It smelled of old, grassy notes with a tang of acids like the first hint of the taste of an orange and a dash of vanilla over an underlying mustiness. It was Jay's favourite place to read, tonight accompanied by the e...
