Oc Drabbles and class assignments

Jealous

(this one is short and sweet. Or, well short and sad.)
(No trigger warnings here)

Johnny sighed as he stared at the boy across the cafeteria with that other boy, their hands clasped together on the table. 

    That boy over there was Nico. Nico Albertali. One of Johnny’s friends. Also, his long-time crush. It had only being a crush for maybe a year and a half at most but that is a pretty long time for him. 

    Nico had recently gotten a boyfriend. Johnny couldn’t remember his name and he honestly couldn’t care less, as harsh as that sounds. 

    Johnny was happy for them. They obviously really liked each other and were happy together. He just wished that he was the one making him happy like that. 

    It wasn’t just that either. He didn’t have to love him back. He didn’t have to date him. He just wanted him around. But, with this new boy in the picture, Johnny is suddenly not important. It’s like he never existed in the first place. He gets an occasional text or a small conversation in the halls but other than that, nothing. He didn’t need Nico to love him back. He didn’t need to be with him. He just wanted more than a head nod in the halls every couple days. He wanted him to be his friend again. He wanted him to sit with him and his friends and lunch like he used to. He wants to be able to skip class on days hes angry and go buy coffee or ice cream or something. He wants to have meaningless conversations at 3 am over the phone till they fall asleep and regret it in the morning when their phones are overheated and halfway dead. He missed the midnight walks to the gas station for slushies and candy. He misses the unplanned sleepovers that lead to them sleeping so close together they could feel each other warm breaths against their lips. Even if Nico didn’t do any of that in a romantic sense, it was just the closeness and intimacy each action held. They didn’t have to be together. Johnny never needed that. He just wanted Nico there. He wanted his best friend back. 

Sure, Joey and Marc were great, but Joey and Marcus have been best friends longer than Johnny and them were. They treat Johnny like a great friend, of course, but, he can’t help but feel odd. He feels like a third wheel to their friendship or something. But, isn’t that how Johnny always feels? Everyone has their best friend or best friends. Johnny is friends with so many people but he’s not the best friend. He never has been and never will be. He’s just that one friend you hang out with in class or will chat with when you bump into. He’s that friend you vent to when you can’t vent to your actual best friends. Once he’s fixed their problems, he’s brushed aside. He’s not important or wanted. He’s just there. He doesn’t want to be just there, though! He wants to be important to someone. He wants to be someone else’s someone. 

But  he’s not. He won’t ever be. Not as long as that boy across the cafeteria with that dark hair and those bright eyes isn’t his. 

    It’s selfish. He knows it is. He can’t force Nico to stay around him. So, he won’t. He’ll suffer in silence for as long as he can or as long as it lasts. Whichever comes first. 

    He just has to admit it to himself. He’s not his. He probably won’t ever be. But, that’s okay. As long as he’s happy, Johnny will continue to stay on the sidelines. He will always be there for him when they fight or when he needs help planning a surprise date. Sure, it’ll hurt. Just thinking about it makes his eyes sting and his heart ache. But, either way, he’ll always be there. 

    Just because he isn’t happy without Nico, doesn’t mean Nico should have to suffer like this either. So, he’ll be there. He’ll always be there.