Bullied to a Werwolf's Mate?

Chapter 19

~Rosaline's POV~

"I have to what now?" I had to have heard him wrong. He couldn't possibly want some disgusting thing like me next to him, not even including the bed. How could he even think of being able to stand me? I am just a burden that people don't seem to realize. I am a mistake and I can't wait to scream it to the world.

"Yes, you have to sleep in my bed. How else am I going to look after you? I can't have you escaping again." I blushed hard at the last statement. All I thought at the time is how to get rid of this crazy stranger. I would rather go back out into the streets then to take up valuable space for someone exceeds the importance I could ever be to this earth. He should be with someone who is actually important, not a waste of space that should be dead on the streets already. I can't eat there food because that would kill me on the inside. They spend valuable money to buy the food they use to feed this house. I am just someone who would be taking that food and be doing nothing in the household. Everyone does something important except me. If I have to stay here then I won't eat. I am pretty sure that they have kids running around somewhere and if they do I will just sneak more food onto their plate. They have more energy so they would need more food to stay at a healthy pace. Me, I am just a loss cause to the world. If they don't come then I have to think of a plan B. I can't throw away the food because that would be throwing away the money they used to get the food that they need. Why can't he just see that I am not worth saving? I lost the right to be saved the day I was born.

I didn't answer him for a while and I think he noticed why. I know he doesn't know about my plan though, unless he looked into my mind. I hope he doesn't because that pissed me off the first time and I won't have it happen again. If he does look into my mind then he shouldn't be able to figure out what I am doing. This is all natural to me so I won't have to think about what I am doing unless I feel I am getting in to deep. He came up and hugged me while muttering "I won't let you go, not again. I will protect you with my heart and soul so don't doubt for a second that I would ever regret bringing you here. Please, stay with me." He hugs me closer and I couldn't help, but to lean into his hard chest. I felt him smile as he kissed my forehead. I couldn't help, but chuckle sarcastically inside my head. He feels like he can save me when I know he can't, no one can.

He pulls away and walks over to his closet while speaking "You better take a shower. Trust me, I love you natural scent, but I can't let you be getting infected from being on the streets so long. How long have you been living in the streets anyway?" He look over his shoulder as he was still rummaging around in his closet for something.

I rack my brain for a while until I found the answer I was looking for. "I have been on the streets ever since I was 8 years old." He turned in surprise at the fact that I was so young.

He began to shake with anger when he asked "How did you get onto the streets? Didn't you want to go to an orphanage? Were your parents that idiotic enough to throw out a beautiful angel? How could they even begin to think that-" I had to stop him. He would not get answers out of me, not yet.

"I'm not ready to talk about it so can we please drop it?" I felt his arms loosening as he tried to remain calm in the difficult situation. I feel really bad that I am not able to tell him every little thing right now, but what else am I suppose to do? I can either tell him the story and watch him pity me, not tell him and watch him suffer or something that would put us both in misery. I just sighed and chose the closed up girl choice and just stayed quiet.

Ryder took my hand and walked us to the bathroom. It was like every typical bathroom you would see. It was all white with the shower surrounded with foggy glass so you could see the blurry version of who ever is in the shower. There was one sink with 2 toothbrushes and one tube of crest toothpaste. There was no bathtub, but there was a toilet next to the shower with hooks lining up all kinds of different towels. He lead me to the shower and opened it for me pointing to the shampoo and conditioner of what I should use. Then he told me I could use the big purple towel for my body and the smaller pink towel for my hair.

Ryder says "If you need anything just shout my name. I will be in our room and will be waiting for you so we can go to bed." I nodded my head as he walked out of the door so I can take my shower. I shake my head at the situation. I should be out on the street freezing myself to death, not inside a luxurious house for someone who should be in this situation instead. I am nothing, but a burden and if people can't see it then I will keep on reminding myself of it so I can never forget of the girl I once was.

I enter the shower and see the knob to either choose hot or cold water. I instantly pushed it so it would go so that it was only cold water that was coming through. I shiver at the feel and was so tempted to change it to the hot side. What would the harm in that be? Ryder keeps telling me that I am worth it so why not embrace it.

NO! I can't do that. I would just hike up there bill for water and heating. I have to find a way for myself to be punished that Ryder wouldn't know about. I quickly look around and see a razor. Perfect. I pick up the sharp object and lifted my arm. If I cut myself under my arms no one would know unless I lifted my arms which I doubt I would do.

The object felt light in my hand although my heart is heavy with a felling saying you're gonna get caught in a mocking voice. I shack my head and made a tiny yet noticeable mark under my arm. I felt the pain prickle my arm as blood flowed down onto the floor and into the drain. Each letter was worse than the last as I was finally able to finish the message in my arm.

I barely got away without the tears spilling down my cheeks. I just smiled at the message that I knew would stick with me forever until the day I died. The word unlovable was etched onto my skin as it begins to heal. I can't wait until I start going around in public. I feel like a little kid that sings I know something you don't.

I finally got to the showering part with the cold water hugging my body as I quickly wash my hair and body. I shut off the water and dry myself only to realize that I have nothing to change into. I open up the door a cracked called out to Ryder. He quickly appeared in the door way with nothing, but boxers on. I blush yet quietly asked if he could get me some clothes. He got this adorable look on his face as if he is saying to himself I am an idiot. Ryder runs out in search of some clothes. Not even 2 minutes later he comes back with a bra, underwear, a light blue long sleeve shirt and a pair of fuzzy penguin-filled pajama pants. He quickly spoke "I got the pajamas from Nicole. Tomorrow we will go shopping for real clothes except from now on you will be wearing my clothes to bed. So, enjoy your last chance of girl pajamas. I want to wear the shirts you wear of mine each day so I can smell your beautiful scent. And the one day maybe we could-,"

I cut him off by shutting the door. I blushed at his bluntness and tried to hide my giggling. He then simply asked "To far?" I let out a little giggle then put on the clothes he gave me. I still kept on thinking of how he said that I would be wearing his clothes to bed from now on. Knowing him as much as I do now I realized he is never gonna let me wear my own clothes to bed.

I sigh and open the door to see Ryder under the covers in the middle of the bed. The lights were off, but the little light the moon was showing let me know he was out like a light. In my heart I knew that I was never to be able to sleep in the same bed with him. I was a common peace of trash thrown on the side of the road and he is prince who could get who ever he wants whenever he wants. I look around and opt out the couch because it is like the bed, off limits. I finally decided to sleep in the corner of the room. It was a dark that I think Ryder wouldn't mind me taking up too much room of.

I curl up into a tight ball in hopes of not being to much of a burden for him to share his room with. That was the last thought as I slowly fall asleep.