Eyes As Dark As A Night

Chapter 5 (The Five Words)

If you're going through or affected by things like suicide, murder, or the killing of love ones, do NOT read this chapter nor the book. I do not want to trigger anything so please, viewers discretion is advised.

"Be ready"

Five words. Depression. Pain. Loss. Torture. Revenge. Five words to describe what I felt this year. After my encounter with King, my life went into flames.

I have never felt so empty. The day we got back was the day my life changed forever. I found my parents in the kitchen, killed in cold blood.

2 weeks later my sister committed suicide from depression. She wasn't copping well so she decided to end it. I couldn't blame her, but her death added more fuel to the huge fire that was already burning and killing me.

Inside and Out.

I didn't know how lucky I truly was until I lost it all. I was sent to foster care since I was only 17 and had no type of experience of living on my own.

I hated it. I hated myself. I felt like it was all my fault and soon enough, I was the pity stock of my school. I felt so helpless that no one knew what happened.

After a while they gave up on the case. I was livid . I felt as if they all knew something, but I was never told, nor would they have ever told me. It made me feel even more helpless, knowing that there was nothing I could do to reverse the damage of my parents' death or my sisters' suicide.

I didn't ever try to kill myself, but I had some self harm days. Those were most days.

My school counselor started seeing me regularly. She said I had changed. I have never really been a bubbly, happy person, but she told me something was off. That I wasn't grieving properly.

I can see why she would think that, it was a year since everything happened. All I used to do was cry.

I couldn't breath without crying, I couldn't eat nor sleep. I felt unworthy.

I cried and cried and cried til one day, something snapped. All of a sudden I couldn't cry anymore. I didn't feel anything. All the emotions that I named early became bland, almost nonexistent, as if they never there. I didn't question it. I didn't try to, nor did I care. I was almost mono-toned.

Neutral.

Soon after, I finished high school and didn't look back. Why should I? I had lost all of my friends. Even if I did have friends, I wouldn't care about them. Or, even want them.

To me my life was completely over, so I created a new one. I didn't change my first name, but I did change my last one. I didn't want people to know me as the girl whose family got brutally murdered.

So, I got some apartment in L.A and started to take my college classes. Apparently, having a really bad sob story, can guarantee you of a life worth of scholarships. Ironic.

All the money that my parents had, was passed down to me when I turned 18. You know, since my sister basically ripped her own throat in half, the money automatically went to me. So I really wasn't struggling in that department. They were pretty wealthy, more than I had known. Don't get me wrong, they wasn't ballin rich but they had something.

Since I didn't have to work, I had a lot of spare time on my hands. I figured I'd look into my parents case. My therapist told me it wasn't healthy, but I didn't see why not if I had become numb to the whole situation. At this point I wasn't even hurting anymore, I was just curious.

I needed Closure.

So, that's what I did every day after school. I went to the library, did some research, did my homework, and went home. It wasn't really the most exciting life, but it was the perfect life to me.

No drama, no people, and no emotions. I loved it. At least I think so. I'm not what you would even call the lifestyle I was living and I certainly didn't have any emotions to comprehend the way I was living. I just don't know anymore. Stuff like that confuses me, so I just leave it alone.

I'm in the library. Following the same schedule I have been doing every day for the past four months. To be honest, I haven't found out much about my parents yet. But what I did find out was that my mom wasn't a teacher as I assumed. She was lying to us.

As crazy as it sounds,  she did some type of detective work and her working as a teacher was just a cover story. I was a little shocked at first when I found out, but I also wasn't stupid. I knew something was going on.

Finally, I decided it was time to leave the vacant library. I was outside waiting for my Uber when I started hearing noises as I was sitting on a bench. The bushes started to move rapidly. I quickly got up from my seat and went to go investigate.

I  stuck my hand in the bush without thinking about it and pulled out a small kitten.  It was cute. Weak, but cute. I took the petit cat in my arms.

When I turn back around there was a figure standing right in front of me.  The familiar scent hit me. The smell of home basically slapped me in my face. But the next words he said was anything but homely.

" Did you miss me? Has your life gone to complete shit? Let's hope not, I still got a few tricks up my sleeves"
......

Oh my god, you didn't see that coming did you.
I just decided that my chapters are going to be a little bit shorter. So I won't keep doing parts.

But did you expect the sudden plot twist. Well get ready because there's going to be a lot more of that.  I'm ready I just don't know if you are....

Edited: 12/6/21