As usual, he woke up with the same feeling, same look, same face and same body that haunted him every day that he breathed and longed to change. He wanted to get back to bed, not wanting to wake up, because what was so great about life? Where was all that greatness people preached in books and TV shows? But yet again, what books was he reading and what TV shows was he watching? The desire to live had left his body and there, briefly, was just the desire to get up and go through the same, repetitive day that the robots known as humans do and then name it life or living.
Nevertheless, he could do nothing about it so he just exhaled, got up and stopped in front of the mirror as his reflection stared back at him. They saw the deep blue color in his iris, while he saw two lifeless eyes with nothing special in them; no desire, no emotions, no will. His scrawny body with bones sticking out from the lack of food he fueled himself with and his messy, dirty-blond hair he never liked.
What was so great and beautiful about life? How was he supposed to love life when he could not even love himself? Such a basic human, wandering around like a puppet, desiring things he could not get or achieve, wanting the impossible so he could fit in. So he could fit in on that group of puppets who sully everyone who joins them, forcing a mask so they can join the masquerade where everyone acts and acts, talks and talks, preaching things that do not reach their righteous beliefs.
"Such lies"- he'd think to himself as he got dressed in the same old, black t-shirt and the same old black jeans. It appeared to him like one day was on repeat, over and over again, waiting for a change, maybe a change of heart or life, so the clock would finally start ticking, even if it was a minute that moved, or maybe even just a second; when is the clock going to tick?
How he wishes he'd never asked himself that question.
YOU ARE READING
Cigarettes After Sunset
General Fiction[completed] Samuel's an ordinary person who struggles with ordinary things in life. He's imperfect, has flaws, and just like everyone else he, every night, wishes to change. The next day, the dream version of him is standing there and now, he has to...
