𝐍𝐎𝐍-𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒

I wanna see you - but you're not mine

I was kneeling in front of the toilet, but my head rested on the cold tile wall behind me. My stomach flipped inside of me. I only wanted to throw up, but I couldn't. I was too drunk and cursed myself for letting me get to this stage.

I heard a knock on the door. I took a deep breath.

"Go away, I'm throwing up" I sighed "it's disgusting"

"It's me" Sadie's voice filled the room as she pushed open the door. She was also drunk, you could tell because her eyes were vacant, and she was talking much louder than needed. "And him" she continued as she stepped aside. Matty peered through the door.

My stomach felt tight again.

"I'm leaving you" Sadie chucked. Before she left the room, she glanced at Matty. "Don't take advantage of her. She's drunk"

"Of course I won't" Matty rolled his eyes, "and, Sadie, bring us some water"

She nodded and stepped away, closing the door behind her, when I suddenly panicked.

"No, no, you can't be in here" I confusedly said.

"What are you talking about, drunkie?" he asked, cupping my chin with his fingers, making me hold up my head. My gaze met Matty's eyes directly, observant and narrowed.

I shook my head in vain. "You can't stay here. Not... not in the bathroom. If Jeremy sees you - "

"Jeremy as in your manager?" he frowned as he got on his knees in front of me. He stroked my back and his touch sent butterflies through my stomach. "Relax, relax" he whispered. "Calm down"

I shook my head. "Why are you here?"

"You sent me several messages", he chuckled.

"Don't laugh of me" I protested. I suddenly remembered how annoyed he sounded on the phone some hours ago, and I pouted, eyes looking down. "I thought you were mad at me"

"I was", he sighed. He seemed to search something in his mind, probably trying to figure out what brought him to this party, to this bathroom, to this girl. "Guess I can't stay away", he just replied.

"Amore", I let slip from my mouth, and even though Matty couldn't understand, his eyes softened. "I wanted to see you tonight", I admitted, but I suddenly remembered, "you're not supposed to be here! If Jeremy sees us it will be trouble, please just - "

"What's this about Jeremy?"

"He said I'm ruining my band's reputation", I sniffed.

"Why did he tell you that?" he asked, scrunching his eyebrows together and showing off the worrying lines of his forehead.

"He said people don't like me cause they think I'm a slag"

"What a knob. Why did he tell you such a thing?"

I looked at him to tell him who was to blame, and yeah, of course, "You".

Meanwhile, Sadie came in again. She handed the glass of water to Matty, babbled something about how cute we were and why was I always on the verge of tears around him? and then disappeared again.

"Drink this but take small sips. Not too much or you'll be sick" he said brooding.

I took a sip, my stomach responding to the fresh water falling in it.

"Tell me this Jeremy thing" he said serious.

My eyes travelled around the room, searching for something to distract me from wanting to throw up. "He said this rumour about me and you is damaging the band's reputation, cause people think you still have a girlfriend. And then I kissed that guy this summer, do you remember?"