A Body in the Backyard: #4

Chapter Fourteen

Myrtle noticed with horror that Erma Sherman was standing on her front step. Erma grinned and waved as the van drove up the drive. 

"Now how am I going to escape that?" moaned Myrtle. "Why can't the woman remember that she lives next door and that she needs to stay over there? All she does is pester me." 

"Just tell her you've had a big day shopping with me and Jack and you need to go in and put your feet up and close your eyes for a while," said Elaine in a sympathetic voice. "She should understand that." 

But it took a lot for Myrtle to admit to someone, even falsely, that she was tired out. She liked to present a picture to the world of strength and heartiness. "Of all the neighbors in the world, I had to get her." 

"She's my neighbor too," said Elaine. She chuckled. "For some reason Red and I aren't on Erma's radar at all. She'd prefer to bother you." 

"That's because she doesn't like children. Or animals," said Myrtle, glancing around. Where was that Pasha when she needed her? The cat was the one protection she had against that woman. 

"I thought she was always feeding the birds and stuff like that." 

"The squirrels. Erma Sherman feeds the squirrels. And that right there should show how squirrelly she is," said Myrtle. She reluctantly opened the car door and stepped outside. "Wish me luck." 

There was just no point avoiding the inevitable. Erma Sherman was bound and determined to have some kind of visit with her, and by golly, that's what she was going to get. If Myrtle caved in, then maybe Erma would leave her alone for a while. Besides, standing at the ill-mannered Silas's door for such a long time (hadn't the man realized she was old?) meant that she was ready to sit for a while with her feet up-even if it meant she had to suffer through a chat with Erma. Maybe she should pull that burned-up ham out of the fridge and offer Erma a sandwich. That might scare her off from visiting for a while. 

As she walked down the front walk, Erma said in a hurry, "I know you've got to run Myrtle, but I needed to tell you something. You're always in such a rush! Don't you think you're going to fall down and break a hip or something? Moving slower is better." 

Myrtle resisted the urge to shoot her a sour look for the unasked-for advice. But she was being good, no matter how torturous it was. She hoped she was winning a few points for this from the big guy upstairs. 

Erma's mouth dropped open in complete shock as Myrtle fished her keys out from her pocketbook, opened the door and motioned her inside. "It's such a warm day today, Erma. Why don't you come inside and tell me what's on your mind." 

Erma trotted in before Myrtle could change her mind. As Myrtle closed the front door behind her, she glimpsed Elaine across the street, looking her way in shock. Elaine would likely be checking back in with her later to make sure she hadn't suffered a small stroke. 

Once Myrtle sat down, she had a feeling that she wasn't going to be getting back up again for a while. "Erma, just hold that thought and give me a few minutes to get settled." She definitely wanted to make a quick visit to the bathroom-she'd been gone for a long while, after all-then pour them both some iced tea and get them out a small snack. Erma, from what she remembered, could be a fairly demanding visitor and it would irritate the stew out of Myrtle to keep having to jump up from her chair like a jumping jack.  

She returned a few minutes later with a tray holding a plastic pitcher of sweet tea, two tall glasses, and a plate with cheese and crackers on it. Myrtle noticed wryly that Erma didn't leap up to help her carry in the tray, despite the fact that Myrtle was holding the tray with one arm and her cane with the other. Typical Erma.