Clocked Heart (GirlxGirl)

(Pre-Face)

I've never believed in love. Why I don't believe this?" you may ask. I never expected myself to come to this conclusion, but after carefully analyzing my experiences and experiences of my friends and family, I feel a bit naïve to the thought of true love being real.

Without going into too much detail, I thought that I was in love for two years. I thought it was true love and that I found "the one." The relationship ended up being the exact opposite of what I wanted it to be. My feelings immediately disappeared, and although I was lucky enough to not have to spend forever getting over him, I always questioned myself. If I was really in love, wouldn't my feelings linger longer? I am not letting one bad relationship ruin my outlook on life, but after analyzing other relationships, I realized that other couples did not appear to be in the love that they claim.

There are so many couples that discuss their love for each other, that are "relationship goals" from afar, but at the same time have awful arguments. And I know that everyone is going to have rough patches, but there are certain arguments that should not be normal in a healthy, loving relationship. I have seen couples faking a smile in their relationship, refusing to end it because they are simply "used to it." I have seen the happiest of couples file for divorce because they simply couldn't get along anymore. I have seen married men and women break down in front of me, telling me they can't take it anymore and how they wished they never married their partner. I have seen girlfriends , fiancees, and wife's , who appear to be so in love and loyal to their partner cheat on them without a speck of guilt in their eyes. If love was so real, why would you ever want to intentionally hurt them? Aside from the cheating, I simply believe that being in a long-term relationship is not about being "in love," but it is more so tolerating each other. Some people stay in abusive relationships because they want someone to cuddle with at night and do not think they will find another to show affection to. Some will stay in healthy relationships, but will be unhappy, yet manage to stay with their partner because "it is what it is."There are a few rare couples who appear to get butterflies when seeing each other even after 50 years of marriage. I still do not believe that this is "love." I believe it is affection that never managed to die, and they happen to be skilled in resolving conflict. Some people manage conflict better than others, and those are the people who stay in a relationship the longest.