WHAT NOT

CHAPTER 4

"God, and you should've seen the way she was looking at me. I mean she wants me, and she knows it. I'm finna secure that."

Matty is rambling on and on about Kaysure Brad. KB. He has been for awhile. KB doesn't deserve Matty. He's sweet, and super smart. He never minded third wheeling with me and Liam. He loved it actually. He always called us his 'parents'. I'll always be friends with him no matter what mine and Liams relationship is.

Despite how lovable he is, I'm drunk and he is killing my vibe, basically trapping me. He's very intoxicated too. I don't mind him sharing his thoughts with me, I think it's kinda cute. Bless his heart. But right now I just want to vibe and get lit to good music.

"Are you drunk yet Tues?" Liam grabs me from behind.

Yes. Thank you for saving me. Matty jumps in.

"Hell yeah I just did the keg stand for the first time ever, you should've seen it bro where the hell were you?"

Probably doing coke. Liam has had addiction issues in the past. He tries to hide it from me but it never works. Pretty much everyone knows about this issue, he was coked out graduation night. You'd be surprised how many drugs come in out of this small town. Poor Matty, he's tried so hard to help Liam.

"Ohhhh Liam dude, I have mad progression. She wants me. Doesn't she want me T?" I giggle.

I'll go along with it, why not? I turn around facing Liam. I gently pick up his necklace, and look him up and down. Geez.

"Yeah totally, I'm so proud of you Matty." I look at Liam and giggle. He laughs and kisses me on the cheek.

"Come take a walk with me yeah?" He whispers in my ear. That's hot. Hmmm. I'll go on a walk I guess, why not?

"Here." He holds his hand out for me and I immediately grab. Our fingers get woven into each others and it hits different.

I don't still love Liam, we'll just always have that connection. I've missed it.

"I'm still so drunk." Liam runs his fingers through his hair and laughs.

"Yeah I'm definitely not sober but I'm not hammered, you drank a whole lot more than me though." I giggle.

Liam comes from a family of alcoholics. It concerns me how much he drinks sometimes. It was never really a problem when we dated, but it's gotten bad enough for me to notice. Oh shit. is he becoming an alcoholic because of me?

Liam stops dead in his tracks. "You wanna know something Tues?" He chuckles lowly.

"I'm still in love with you, and that's not the alcohol talking." His raspy voice got quiet. He looks up at me. Shit.

I feel bad. I don't love him anymore. He has major lust in his eyes. It's intriguing, but somewhat frightening.

I sigh. "Liam, we hookup here and there but it will never be the same. We still have a connection but it's not like the fire we used to have."

I knew at some point I'd have to tell Liam how I really felt so he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

Our romance was fun while it lasted, but-"

I am cut off by a burning sensation on the whole right side of my face. I immediately grab my cheek. He slapped me. What the fuck?

"I'm done trying Tuesday, I've been patient. I've given you pleasure in multiple ways."

He's screaming.

I'm sorry what? He sounds absolutely crazy. Why am I still here? He just slapped me in the face...

My feet instantly start running. Sand kicked up on Liam.

"Tuesday! Fuck! I'm sorry!"

Hell nah. Fuck that. He isn't even running after me. He knows he just fucked up. Bad.

Tears are running rapidly down my face. So many thoughts are going through my brain. Why is it so hard to find someone truly good in Southport?

I run back to where the beach party was and no one was there. I stop to catch my breath, I just sprinted for a mile. I hear some rustling and turn my head quickly. Thank god it's just a squirrel. I figured it was Liam.

I start walking home as the sun is going down. I stop and reflect on what happened today. Absolute bullshit.

I finally get to my house. Overwhelmed, I take a seat on the couch and just cry. My life right now is very hard on me. I just lost my best friend, my mom is horrible, just got slapped in the face by my ex boyfriend, and i'm out of weed.

I put my head in my hands and sulk. Life makes no sense to me, why are some peoples better than others? It's just not fair. I take a deep breath and hit my juul. I lean back into the couch and turn on Black Mirror. It's my favorite. Especially when I'm high.

Just as I'm going to the bathroom, I hear the front door bust open and a raspy, drunken voice.

"Tuesday?"

My heart drops to stomach. I need to hide.