18. "Rhyme of lies"

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Number 93 in my journal:

Derived from the same topics.
Exerted from my time, waiting for you.
Conniving what I thought you meant.
Deprived my feelings at most.
Aliveness felt, being with you.
Thriving from my past.
Archived all now.
Contrived a plan on what to say.
Revived from depression, back again, my inactive heart.
Live events in my mind, on replay.

Vibes also on replay.
Driving my mind almost to insanity at that point.
Heart came alive when I saw you.
Flying time... 3:25, 3:35...
Archiving moment worth sparing.

Vocabulary not so high.
Never died do high in the sky.
Flying I felt.
In my past, went overboard,
Cried every day.
Thank heaven it's all over.
As I gave up in a tying, tangled, web.
Applied to a weaved web of lies.
My brain fried, endless feeling nigh.
Lies that I've spied on one guy.

Interlude of why the sighs of the same lies,
They are still a surprise to this day.
It's still an attempt to thrive and survive.
Thank heaven it's all over... Soon...
Not as bad as my past had it.

The blue sky, an endless bulls-eye.
Of the light that shines.
Through the good and bad.
Highlighting the sun-kissed beauty in your eyes

How can the most beautiful,
Defy war, calls of the cold-hearted.
Imply all these sly lies.
Decry agonizing goodbyes,
As we let fly, the unknown.
Beyond the world, forever.

Maybe if we can genuinely try,
If we see each other nearby again,
Once again we can try to rely,
Past the glass eyes of defying lies.
And you can finally be the good guy.
But the outcry of the implies
Of no change decry's the mind's eye.
I wish we have never flied as friends.

Now you don't reply, leave me on read.
You stand by.
You supply more lies.
Thereby, I believed your lies,
Today, of silence.

Hearby your beautiful eyes,
I cannot comply.
A war cry, fight with myself.
Strong tie friendship at first.
Retry to get this back in line.
I tried...

Thought with my horrified devil eyes,
Too good to be true.
I thought I could deify you.
I would dignify your persona.
Once I find out what's true.

Probably expect me to cry.
From the back of my mind, I remember...
You're a Gemini
Ironic how a magnified story,
Gratifies your zodiac sign,
I've been told I have evil eyes,
But genuine inside.

Quantified all your silent times,
Think you're a wise guy?
All because I'm a year younger?
You're not gonna get away this time.
I'm gonna strike you by surprise.

12.22.19. . 5.4.20

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