𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐘, stanley barber

xiii. FALLINGFORYOU.

SINCERITY IS SCARY, STANLEY BARBER
( xiii. fallingforyou )

"OKAY, CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT just happened?" I asked Stan as we took a seat on one of the outside benches after marching out of the cafeteria. Stanley's face was red and his eyes blazed with both hurt and anger after our latest interaction with Sydney Novak. "She wasn't lying," Was all Stan mumbled, his lips pursed and his eyes never meeting mine. "She wasn't lying?" I repeated, and Stanley nodded, placing his hands on the table in front of him. "She wasn't lying. I was going to ask you to Homecoming. I— I wanted to go to Homecoming with you, not her. I-I do want to go." My voice caught in my throat when I tried to speak, and I just ended up making an undignified squeak. "S-since when?" I finally managed, and Stan's warm brown eyes met mine. "I— uh, kinda realised at the party, and Syd— she was helping me rehearse what I was gonna say to you, and then you— you came outside and I didn't realise. Syd panicked and she said okay." "Oh," Was all I said, unable to really comprehend the words coming from my best friend's mouth. "I'm sorry," Stanley let out a bitter little laugh. "I knew it was a stupid idea. Why would you go to Homecoming with me? You're my best friend." "Can I tell you something, Stan?" I asked him simply, my mind going back to the conversation we had yesterday, as we sat on the sofa in his bedroom. "You— you can tell me anything, Violet." The crestfallen look on Stan's face had only worsened since our conversation began, and what I was about to tell him could only make it go one way or the other. Inhaling sharply, I kept my eyes on Stanley, knowing it was now or never; I wasn't going to let him get away again. Because I was in love with my best friend, Stanley Barber, and I was going to tell him.

"I like you, Stan. Like, I really like you. You've always been so much more to me than my best friend. And I was going to tell you— that night last week at your house, but then you made a move on Syd." I felt the words fall from my mouth so naturally that I could not stop them, even when Stanley's brown eyes became wide. "But I have been crazy for you, Stan, since I knew what love was. But I was always so afraid to tell you because sincerity is scary as fuck, Stanley. But now you know." Exhaling slowly, all the adrenaline and pride I had build up letting out my emotions to Stanley began to fizzle, my insides crumbling as his face became unreadable. Licking my lips, I forced my gaze to maintain, holding Stan's eyes locked with my own. Fear danced inside of me; I had not a clue what he was going to say, but I refused to back down. Feelings require no justification or apology. We sat in silence for maybe two, three minutes, my stomach churning in anticipation before Stanley spoke. "I— I'm in love with you, Vi." "W-what?" Okay, not what I was expecting to hear, but it didn't disappoint. "I didn't know it until— until Ricky Berry's party, when we were dancing. Syd— she pointed it out. And... I've been meaning to tell you ever since." I tried to hide the smile forming on my face, but I just couldn't. "Go to Homecoming with me, Stanley Barber?" I asked with a grin. "For sure." Smiling at me, my best friend agreed. "I just can't believe you asked before I could."