Hooked On You/ A Jordan Knight FanFic ✔️

39

After being read the riot act from Jon's doctor, Marlene and I fell into an uneasy truce. No one mentioned Jordan, and his presence had all but been erased. I, on the other hand, felt such a loss at his departure, I thought my heart was going to split.

That first night when we came home and found his room cleared out and his keys on the island, I almost burst into tears. I called Martha, and she had assured me that the penthouse was ready before he arrived.

One day bled into another. I drove Marlene to the hospital, and we took turns visiting with Jon. Mostly he slept. I stole away, a couple of times during the day, to drive back to the loft and take Chloe out for potty breaks. I hated how alone the loft felt without Jordan.

Incredibly gracious and understanding, the gallery assured me that I didn't need to return until everything was back to normal.

It was a surreal experience talking with Jon. He remembered nothing. The doctors warned me that I should not discuss Jon's negative behavior prior to the accident. They told both Marlene and I that we needed to keep him calm. When he was back on his feet, we could share some of the events that had occurred. As it was, we still hadn't told him that he had been drinking and driving without a seatbelt.

I missed Jordan to the point of pain. There were a hundred times where I almost drove to the penthouse to see him, but I refrained from doing so. What exactly would I say to him? Jordan and I had no future. We had developed a friendship, but we had ruined it when we crossed that line that we couldn't uncross. Now he knew the true extent of my feelings.

My face burned with shame as I recalled the look of panic and shock on his face when I had confessed to him that I loved him. Trust me. He didn't want to see me. I was the crush that had taken things too far. I had done the unthinkable by falling for him and then telling him how I felt. He probably thanked his lucky stars that he had made an escape when he did.

Jon was a further complication. He was so innocent and happy when he saw me. He had no idea about the destruction and devastation of the past few months. All he knew was that we had gotten engaged and we were about to get married. He asked me question after question about the wedding and continually assured me that he would be on his feet and ready to walk down the aisle with me. I, on the other hand, was having more than cold feet. It felt like my entire body was encased in ice. I felt nothing. Nothing for Jon. Nothing for the wedding. It felt like I was stuck in some weird limbo that I could not get out of. So, like every other time in my life, I pretended. I pretended everything was okay.

Marlene and I drove to the hospital.

"Look at all the blossoms on the trees," Marlene said, peering out the window. "It seems to have become spring almost overnight."

"Yes," I said. "It's come early this year."

"You're going to have such beautiful weather for your wedding. It's only six weeks away."

I took a deep breath. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

She looked at me sharply. "What are you talking about?"

I chewed on my bottom lip. "Well, I don't want to push Jon. He can barely walk."

"The wedding is the only thing he talks about. He needs this. That's his goal for recovery. You can't take that away from him."

I needed to tell him that we had ended our relationship. When would he be strong enough to face that he had cheated on me and then I had cheated on him? We were running out of time. "It's just coming so fast. I don't even know if I can get everything ready."

She practically ground her teeth. "Then hire a damn wedding planner. But you aren't delaying it. Can you imagine the kind of setback that could create for him emotionally?"

I swallowed. "Okay. It was just a suggestion."

"You need to start thinking about Jon. Marriage is more about giving and less about taking. You'd be smart to remember that."

I took a deep breath. I could do this.

Later that day, I stood in the lineup of the hospital cafeteria. My phone buzzed.

Jordan: How's Jon doing?

I stared at the text and thought that my heart would pound through my chest.

Me: He's getting stronger. Still struggling to walk but he's eating and sleeping well. The doctors are pleased with his progress

Jordan: Does he remember anything?

Me: Not yet

Jordan: How are you doing?

Uh, let's see. I feel trapped. I was caught in some surreal world where I pretended everything was fine when it wasn't. The only person who knew the truth about what had happened had left. And my heart was bleeding on my sleeve for someone who didn't love me back and didn't want to be with me.

Me: I'm fine. How about you?

Jordan: I'm fine

I wanted to tell Jordan that I missed him every hour of every day. That life was dreary and grey without him, and nothing had been right since he had left. I wanted to beg him to come back. That I needed him. That he was my rock and that I felt like I was falling apart without him in my life. But I had already freaked him out once with my heartfelt emotions. I didn't need to go there again.

Me: The doctors don't want us to talk about the last five months

Jordan: So Jon doesn't know what he did to you?

Me: No. Nor what I did to him

Jordan: Does he still think you are engaged?

Me: Yes

I sat staring at my phone willing it to buzz again with a text, but nothing else came. I sat there until the coffees went cold, but he never texted back.

Three more days passed when another text came through.

Jordan: I think I just scared the living fuck out of your house cleaner

Me: Martha? What happened?

Jordan: She was vacuuming. I was just coming in from a run. She didn't hear me come in and when she turned around and saw me standing there, she started screaming at me in Spanish.

For the first time in what felt like weeks, I started to laugh.

Me: ha ha ha. Poor Martha. Is she okay?

Jordan: She's fine. She insisted on making me pancakes

A huge smile ripped across my face.

Me: She worked for my granny for 37 years

Jordan: She told me. And you were right.

Me: About what?

Jordan: You do have your granny's eyes.

I clutched the phone to my chest. Tears threatened to spill over.

Me: You want to see Chloe sometime? She misses you.

A long pause ensued. I wasn't sure if he was even going to respond.

Jordan: Probably not a good idea.

A tear, this time, did spill over my cheek.

Me: Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.