Rings (Bucky Barnes x OC soulmate AU)

Chapter 11 - Talks

They were quiet the first part of the drive. Clara's head was spinning from their kiss and confession of love, and Bucky's warm fingers massaging Clara's hand distracted her from most of her thoughts.

Bucky cleared his throat after an hour or so. "So, uh... what about the Avengers do you want to talk about?" He wanted to get the hardest part of the conversation over with. During the hour of silence he'd already decided he would tell her a funny secret rather than a serious one.

"I just... When I was offered this assignment, Fury mentioned that he would offer you a spot on the Avengers when the time was right but I haven't heard anything since." Clenching her jaw, she peered over at Bucky nervously. "Have you heard anything?"

"Not yet."

"It scares me," Clara admitted. "You going out there like that scares me."

"Me too."

"And what if you did join them? I - I have my job in Washington DC, and New York isn't exactly nearby. What - how would we do that?"

"Maybe we can play the soulmate card and you can join us on the base."

Clara tightened her grip on Bucky's fingers. "Do you want to know my secret, Bucky?" she asked softly. "Ever since I came back from the - the disappearing thing and found out I was missing for five years, my dream was to find my soulmate and get out." She ran her free hand through her curly hair, dark eyes once again fixating on the road before them. "I hate my job now. I hate that with one mistake I can kill an entire team. I don't know how Fury found out about me, I don't know why he hired me. I don't care. I just want out."

Bucky was quiet as she ranted. When she finished he didn't know what to say to her. She wanted to cut all ties with SHIELD and move on, but Bucky couldn't do that. Not yet, at least. He felt he had a debt to pay to SHIELD for helping him take his life back. How could he explain that to Clara, though? The malice she spoke with shocked Bucky - she'd never used that sharp tone or even mentioned her distaste for SHIELD until then.

"Do you know how the super soldier serum works?" Bucky asked her softly. He glanced over to see Clara shaking her head before returning his eyes to the road. "It enhances your prominent personality traits and abilities. My mom used to tell me that my fight instinct is stronger than flight and that I needed to learn when to fly and not fight. I grew up having someone to protect and now that I have that again..." Bucky's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I will not let anything happen to you. I'm still dangerous, there are still people out there looking for me. Over the last few years I've learned a lot about flight. I know when to retreat. That time hasn't come just yet. I still need to fight."

Clara watched him carefully as he finished speaking. "Do you want to join the Avengers?" she asked.

"Yeah, I do. But I also want you to be happy. So if you don't want me to, I won't ."

She wanted him to leave SHIELD altogether, like her. But if she asked him to do that then he wouldn't be satisfied in life. Like he said, his work wasn't done just yet.

With a sigh Clara looked out her window as they entered a new town. There were beautiful trees hiding old buildings, beautiful houses, and parks.

"I don't want you to, mostly because I'm scared of losing you. Things tend to happen to Avengers," she said, a tremor in her voice. "But I want you to stay. Stay until you feel it's time. I'll support you no matter what, Bucky. Where you go, I'll go."

Where you go, I'll go. The words echoed in his mind as they fell into a comfortable silence. Bucky was glad she understood, to some extent, what he needed to do. He knew that when the time for change came she would be by his side as a place of refuge.

He remembered the night he came home from his first mission since he knew Clara. He remembered the feeling of her arms around him, standing outside their apartment building and how relieved he was to see her again. Clara Hughes might have been a little crazy at times but she was everything he needed: a person to talk to, a comforter, and a distraction.

▪️▪️▪️

Clara stood by the car, watching as Bucky embraced his sister, Rebecca, tightly. Rebecca, a slight woman with a curved back, smiled brightly as tears fell freely from her eyes. When she pulled away she held onto his forearms tightly and told him something before smiling wickedly at Clara. Bucky's ears turned dark and he shook his head. After a few moments she let him go and approached Clara.

"You're the wonderful woman who helped my brother find me," she said cheerfully. Her voice shook with age but her movements were fluid as excitement and adrenaline filled her body. "Thank you." Rebecca also embraced Clara.

Clara was pleasantly surprised to find that the older woman wasn't as bony as she appeared. She remembered her great grandmother who hugged her every year at Thanksgiving and resisted the urge to shiver when she thought of how bony she was.

"It's no problem," Clara said as the two pulled away. "I'm kind of fond of him."

The rest of that night was filled with laughter and tears from the Barnes children, and the next day Bucky was able to meet his nieces and nephews who were all shocked to see the uncle they heard so much about but never met.

Bucky was no longer as alone as he once felt. He knew everything would be alright with Clara and his reunited family at his side.

When they arrived at their apartment building, Bucky reached a decision.

"Clara," he said, "I... want you to read my file."

They had been walking towards the building when he said that. Clara froze.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't have to if you don't want me to."

"I do want you to. That file has everything you need to know about me. I'll be there to talk about it, but... I don't want to hide anything from you."

Clara nodded, happy that he would trust her like that. To know everything a man had done in his life was a big sign of trust.

"Thank you," she whispered, and took his hand in hers. "I love you."

Bucky pressed his lips against the top of her head. "Love you too," he murmured into her hair.