In Love, In Death

Everknown Truth

The sting of Narcissa's anger and the fierceness of her hit hurt more than any length of being cursed. Bellatrix felt the blood rush to her cheek and she stared at the stone floor but could feel Narcissa's piercing gaze. She stared at her sister with such hate. Burning, vicious hatred. With an aching jaw the elder sister tried explaining her side. 

"Cissy..." 

Whack. Another slap across the same side of Bella's face. This time she had to look into her sister's eyes. They were black and empty, void of all emotion. 

"You don't get to call me that" said Narcissa through gritted teeth.  

"Please just listen to me" Bella pleaded. 

The younger sister raised her hand to strike the eldest but in the same second Bellatrix's hand twitched to her sleeve where she kept her wand. Both girls looked there and a flicker of alarm went across Narcissa's eyes. She knew the power her sister could wield with just a flick of her wrist. 

"Let me explain." Bella put more force behind her words and could see Narcissa beginning to yield. Subtly, Cissy nodded her head and both girls moved towards the couch and sat down at either end not looking at the other. After several moments of silence Bellatrix resorted to desperation. 

"Cissy, you don't understand. You can't begin to possibly understand the power I feel when I use the curses. It's like nothing I've felt. Finally after all these years I can understand what our mother was trying to tell us. Power is vital, it's needed. And sometimes pain is necessary to achieve it! I finally understand that now. When I use those curses I feel... stronger. More in control." After her speech Bella found herself struggling for breath. She spoke so fast and willed for an inkling of understanding to appear on her sister's face.  

Narcissa was breathing heavily and she stared Bella fully in the face. 

"You were always her favourite, you know" she said glumly. 

Bellatrix went to interrupt but Narcissa continued. 

"For years I tried my hardest to impress our mother. While you were playing with the other children that visited our home I stayed inside and studied as hard as I could. But it wasn't academics that Mother was looking for. It was strength of will and character. I guess I never had the stuff to be the daughter she wanted" Narcissa laughed bitterly. 

"I often wondered why she even bothered to have me when she already had the perfect daughter," Narcissa imitated the hoarse and wispy voice of Druella Black "Beautiful Bella... why can't you be more like your sister?...Narcissa stand aside and let your sister try, she'll probably be able to do it" 

Bella let those words sink in. She deserved to hear them but she hadn't thought them true until her childhood flashed before her in that instance. Narcissa, always in the corner. The girl standing in her sister's shadow while her mother smiled and nodded at the appropriateness of the scene.  

A family photo flashed before Bella's eyes. Her mother and father stood side by side while Bellatrix sat on a high-backed armchair. Mr and Mrs Black each had a hand on their daughter's shoulder and there was no mistaking the pride in Cygnus Black's eyes. On Druella's right Narcissa stood, straight-backed and stern-faced. An ignorant viewer of the photo would mistake the fierceness in the youngest Black daughter's face as determination, common in the Noble house. But Bella knew what it really was. There was no mistake. Narcissa's eyes held an unimaginable and incurable sadness. A sadness that only follows one who was left behind. 

"They loved you because you had everything they admired in each other in you and that's what made you special. Looks, brains, strength and power. I was the soft, weak-willed nobody that was everything you weren't. Exact opposites yet our parents knew what they wanted, and it wasn't me." A single tear escaped Narcissa's eyes. Bella didn't know why she wasn't crying. She supposed she couldn't after the big tantrum she had in Ethan's arms. She knew she should be crying because everything her sister said was painfully true. 

"Narcissa... honestly I didn't know" Bella's mouth was dry and her voice was hoarse. 

Cissy smiled but it was without joy. 

"That was the worst part. I overcame the jealously early and I grew to love you. And it was so... painful. Loving you while our parents didn't love me made me feel like a weakling, a coward. I kept thinking that if life was a constant battle for power and control then shouldn't I hate you and not want to be like you, but be better than you? But those thoughts were poison. Soon they befouled the whole thing and I couldn't help but look up to you. Sometimes a girl just needs a sister even if she stole everything that that girl could've ever been" 

Bella couldn't move. She felt violently ill at her sister's words. Shaking she stood to leave the conversation and hide in the dormitory. Nowhere felt as safe as her four-poster bed. Narcissa's next words were spoken quietly but her whole life Bella would never forget them. Throughout her schooling years the words spoken when her back was turned were just as painful as those to her face. 

"I'll never forgive you. I've tried my hardest but I won't, I can't. But I need you. You're my sister and you are the only person who understands me. But for as long as I live, I'll never forget this. And I will never forgive you"