Fallen (On Hold)

Chapter 2 - Grasp It

A breath escapes my lips, awakening me from my sleep. My eyes flicker open and I can't see a thing, it's too dark. I start to get up and as I do, my vision starts to clear. I can't even remember how I got here. I can't really remember anything that happened. I have a vague memory, but the more I try to reach towards it and find it, the more I push it away. I sit there, trying to concentrate on the memory, but that fails. 

The sound of a door opening awakens me from my revere.

"Glad to see that you are finally awake." A voice says kindly. I nod, not glancing up at the person. I hear the scoot of a chair and the person sits down, clearly waiting for me.

"Where am I?" I ask.

"There's not an easy answer to that."

I look up for the first time and take in the person that is sitting before me. She has blonde hair and bright blue eyes. However, large black wings spread out behind her, gently flicking out slightly from time to time with, what I guess is, is impatience. I move back slightly.

"No, don't be alarmed." The woman says with a small smile. "This is how most people react. It is most normal. I'm Linette, by the way." Linette stands up and offers me her hand. I take it and she lifts me up, giving me an encouraging smile.

"Follow me." She murmurs and we walk together, side by side.

"You never answered my question." I have the courage to ask again.

Linette nods. "You will receive answers soon, though they may not be exactly what you wish to hear."

As we move about I see others like Linette, they have strange wings, some of them don't. I grow puzzled, but Linette doesn't take notice of them, just proceeds to lead me to wherever we are going.

We stopped in a darkened room. "I can't see a thing, where are we?" I asked. In reply, a gentle blue light appeared in front of me, it grew brighter until it illuminated Linette's form. She held the ball of light in her hand gently, as if it were a living thing.

"What is it?" I asked with immense curiosity.

"This, is you." She said gently pushing the ball towards me.

"Me?" I asked as I backed up slightly. Linette nodded.

I peered curiously at the ball. It was bright blue with small wisps of smoke flowing off of it, in the center of the ball was a mass of words and faces, memories it appeared. As I looked into it, I recalled past experiences of my life, as if I was reliving them. Linette pulled the ball away.

"This may be hard for you to understand, it might be impossible, but it is not fair that we let you continue to believe that you are alive. Thing is, Shawny, you're dead. There is no way to put it simply."

Linette laid the bright blue ball in my hands as I remained silent, peering down at it.

"This, this is what represents your physical form. It is condensed into memories. All of the memories that you have, they were stored in this way so that we could record what you did while you were alive. Unfortunately, you cannot tap into it, as you still have memories left to live on Earth."

I looked up Linette, "Wait, you're sending me back? I get to live again?" I asked, suddenly excited at the prospect.

Linette shook her head, "You misunderstand. You cannot be revived from the dead, it is not time for a resurrection yet. However, you are being sent back in the form of a Fallen Angel. You will not be able to be seen or heard. You must seek out what it is that you still have left to do. It is an inevitable fate that some have and some do not have."

"What about my parents and my brother? Are they Fallen Angels as well?" I asked.

"No, they had nothing left that they needed to do, they were sent straight to heaven once they died. They do not even know what happened to you, as most do not know about the Fallen Angels. Once you leave the Fallen Angels, all the memories that you had while under the service will be removed from your mind, extracted and placed in the ball until it is time for you to receive the messages." Linette explained and took the blue light back in her hands, cupping it until it dimmed slowly and we were shrouded in darkness once again.

I saw the dim outline of Linette as she walked out and I followed her, a little bit shocked. "I can't be dead." I stopped abruptly, glaring at her. Linette turned back to look at me.

"What?" She asked

"I said that I cannot be dead. This is some weird, sick joke that you are playing against me. Either that or my mind is just messed up. I'm going to wake up in a proper hospital any second now and know that this was all a dream. My family will still be alive and I'll still be alive."

"Shawny, now you're just talking nonsense. I know this is not an easy concept to grasp, but you must understand this is the way that things are organized. There is a process that you must understand, otherwise it collapses. Shawny, you are dead. Your entire family was killed. The sooner you are able to know this, the better it will be for you." Linette says exasperatedly.

I shook my head. "This is too weird. I... this isn't real." I turn away from her and start walking back the way we had come from before.

"Shawny, please at least try to understand." Linette grasped my shoulder and I turned to look at her.

"I don't want to." There were tears in my eyes. I somehow knew that she was telling the truth, despite my not wanting to believe it. Didn't they say in those movies that if you wanted to, you could stay? All I needed to do is to find my body and go back into it. Right?

I walked away from Linette, practically running around, frantically searching for the exit. "There." I said as I saw a small light. I went through it and found myself in a hospital. "Hospital? Maybe this is where I am. This is where I am supposed to go back." I murmured to myself excitedly.

I ran down the halls, checking each room to find myself. I saw doctors running towards a room. "That's probably me." I ran after them and saw them turn into a room. "That's it!" I found myself saying as I ran after them. I rounded the corner, ran into the room, and stopped dead in my tracks.

That was me, that was my body. It was battered, bruised, and bleeding, but at least it was recognizable. I walked over to it, and sat down beside it. "How do I fix this?" I murmured as I stared down at my body. I gently pressed my hand into my own hand and saw it pass through, both the hand and the bed. "No, please." I whispered as I tried again. It passed through again and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. "No." I glanced around, but no one was there, the doctors had run into a different room.

I slowly walked out of the room, not knowing where I was going until I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned and saw Linette staring back at me with a sad look in her face.

"I'm really dead?" I asked as I looked up at her.

"I'm afraid so, Shawny." She sighed and led me out of the hospital back into the strange place where I had met her. "Why don't you rest. Tomorrow brings another day." She gave me a bright  smile and led me back to the rooms.

She showed me a bed where I could sleep and I lay awake, thinking about all that had happened. I grew dizzy from the thought of it and pushed those thoughts away, replacing them with the desolation I felt about this situation. How could this happen to me? How?