𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 ━ 𝐣𝐣 𝐨𝐛𝐱

part thirty

jj's pov

day one after hannah's confession i sat in my bed all day. i felt hurt, sad, alone, but mostly betrayed. i didn't mean to flip out on her last night but i was just so angry.

i was angry at her for lying to me, i was angry at myself for trusting her in the first place. i was still angry at the cops for not working harder to find john b, to find my best friend.

i almost forgot about the reason we had gone into the sheriff's. barely remaining in my mind were the words i read on those papers, and the pictures of john b that were printed on them as well. i could barely remember the extreme feeling of anxiety i had as i tried to get me and hannah in that vent.

the only thing that was on my mind was the fact that i had finally trusted someone to the point where i felt nothing stood between us... and it all fell apart.

yes i trusted ki, and pope, and john b but not like the way i did hannah. not like the way i had felt so connected with her even after only knowing her for such a short amount of time.

i didn't know if it was valid to feel this way. i mean people lie all the time and everyone just gets over it but somehow this just meant so much more to me.

it was on day two that i drank more beers than i could possibly count. the entire day was extremely foggy, it was hard to even keep track of my own thoughts that day or why i was drinking so much in the first place.

i remembered when i heard her knock though. it scared the shit out of me, the loud sound of the front door. in the groggy state of mine i was in, i heard her knock and i didn't answer. i couldn't.

on day three after multiple missed calls from ki and pope i decided it was time for me to face them no matter how much i didn't want to.

i explained the situation as best i could and they were in nearly just as much of shock as i was.

"jj i'm-" kiara began looking at me with sad eyes. but i didn't come here to have a talk about my feelings, i came to talk because of something specific hannah had told me during her confession.

"nope none of that," i interrupted her. "hannah said she found gold, fucking gold."

"okay but why does-" ki started again before interjected again.

"let me repeat that," i began. "gold, she found gold."

"don't you dare start concocting," the girl scolded.

"don't i dare sta-" i scoffed, repeating her words. "are you serious? kiara it's gold she found in a building on tarmac property!"

"jj there can't be a correlation if that's what you're trying to imply," pope interjected.

"that's exactly what i'm trying to imply!" i yelled, not understanding what they weren't understanding about this.

"jj stop," ki warned.

"stop what?" i demanded.

"stop trying to connect this with john b to hide what you're really feeling right now," she said.

"what am i feeling exactly kiara?" i mocked. "huh? since you happen to know what's going on inside my mind right now."

"jj-"

"are you a mind reader now?" i pressed. "no seriously tell me how i'm feeling ki. tell me what i'm hiding."

"bro," pope warned, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"don't bro me," i said, jerking his hand off my shoulder.

they didn't understand. they could never understand what it felt like to be tossed aside time after time with everyone they ever came across in their lives.