𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 ━ 𝐣𝐣 𝐨𝐛𝐱

part thirty five

jj's pov

"you get why i had to do it, right?" john b said over the phone. he asked me this during some point in our conversation everyday.

after hannah's call that one night almost two weeks ago, john b had called every single day since so that we could talk, and ki and pope were usually with me too.

when i heard his voice on the phone that night i almost through the device across the room which would have inevitably smashed it to pieces. gladly there was still a bit of sanity in my mind that told me not to do so.

i yelled and yelled for so long, not being able to process everything. at first i just couldn't understand why they had put us under the impression that they'd been dead this whole time. none of it made sense to me, why they had hidden from us for so long.

i have to say i regret screaming at them when i knew hannah's dad could hear me. the reason i had asked hannah to take me off of speaker in the first place was because her dad was in the room, i didn't want him to think i was insane, yet he ended up hearing it anyway.

not quite the first impression you want to have on the father of the girl your in love with. but at this point, hannah and i's future was really up in the air and i don't know if things could ever go back to the way they were.

it took a while for me to calm down before john b and sarah could even begin to explain. they told me every little detail from when they had first got dropped off at the port in nassau, to how they had ended up in hannah's house.

it was hell of a coincidence that i still couldn't fully wrap my mind around.

i had a full on meltdown at the chateau that consisted of me destroying everything i had just cleaned up. the house looked unfortunately similar to when i had my episode after the whole deal with hannah. not my best week, i gotta say.

i barely even remember calling ki and pope. i believe i heaved out, "john b and sarah," before hanging up the phone and proceeding with my breakdown. minutes later the two friends were walking into my house, faces in complete and utter distress at the sight they were seeing.

i don't remember much of how i got them onto the line with john b but they stayed in my room as they talked on the phone for hours. john b explained to them everything that he had explained to me.

once they came out we sat together, the three of us, in complete and utter silence for what felt like an eternity.

it took all of us a long time to process, of course there was nothing better than the feeling that they were alive, but it was draining to understand the full of it. to realize that we had lost hope and they were there this whole time was hard for us to even think about.

talking on the phone with john b and sarah everyday helped, as they told us more and more about their situation. even them reexplaining details of their situation and the reasons they had to hide was helpful for us to be able to come to terms with everything.

"i get why you had to do it," i reassured john b for the hundredth time that week.

"tomorrows the day," he muttered.

"i know," i said, blowing out a whistle. it was crazy to think that in the past two weeks i had found out my previously presumed dead best friend was, in fact, very much alive.

for obvious reasons i had that feeling of anticipation that settled deep into my stomach, butterflies or whatever bullshit you want to call it. i was about to see john b and sarah after being separated from them for a year and i was literally on the edge of my fucking seat waiting for them to hop on that damn plane and fly to us.

however, seeing john b was not the only cause of the butterflies in my stomach. i was going to be seeing hannah for the first time in three weeks, since our fight happened.

i'd briefly, and very awkwardly may i add, talked to her on the phone a few times. this was before she decided it would be a good idea to give me the house number to could call john b so that she wouldn't have to answer every time i called for him. 

i wanted to talk to her, to ask her how she was, but i knew that i couldn't. i had let her walk away after all.

sarah told me that hannah had been quite dreary around the house. she even described her as having a lack of energy which was not how like the hannah i once knew.

i wish i could convince myself that her sadness was not because of me. however i knew that was a lie after sarah had yelled at me telling me how i needed to make amends with the girl when they returned.

i wasn't sure how much hannah had told sarah but i contemplated her words in my mind for a while. was there even a possibility of making amends? would it hurt hannah more than it would help?

the excited feeling that i once had, quickly turned into worry, and the pit in my stomach remained for days as i anticipated their arrival.

i couldn't help but to wonder how things would go.

i let her go because i thought i wasn't good enough for her, sarah told me i was quite possibly the biggest dumbass she'd ever met because of that.

"you know john b almost left without me," i remember sarah saying during her spiel. "who know's what would have happened if i hadn't gotten onto that boat. he could've died and i never would have seen him again. jj, do something about it if you love her as much as i think you do... don't be a pussy."

"i am not a pussy," i had scoffed at her words. 

"you better prove it then."

-

authors note:

low-key boring chapter but buckle in because a lot is about to go down. only a few more chapters left though😪😪 i'm so sad i don't want it to end.