Unreadable. Unreachable. Unrequited. | TsukiYama ✓

13

[Tsukishima]

Okay, so I'd thought over the three options the 'third gym squad' gave me, and they were all with pros and cons. I'd decided that I'd try them all, starting with Bokuto's big and loud idea, one that would really push me out of my comfort zone.

So that's why, in the middle of a mini practice match we were currently having with the team split in two, I hurried over to Yamaguchi and grabbed his arm. He flinched and turned to me, finally letting me see his face for the first time all day.
He had plasters all over his cheeks and nose and had an unmistakable black eye. It caught me so off-guard I froze.

"Tsukishima? Get off." Yamaguchi tried shrugging me off. No.. I wasn't leaving him again. He looked angry at me, making my heart clench painfully.

I panicked.
I hugged him.
I ran.

I ran out of the gym and to the clubroom, not even getting dressed. I just grabbed my bag and started hurrying out again, speed-walking to get out of there as soon as possible.
That hadn't gone how I'd wanted it to ah shit- I was supposed to talk to him and apologise, not hug him out of nowhere. Gosh how lame. I was so lame, no wonder Yamaguchi left.

I made it sound like we were a couple. What an entertaining thought.. though, with Yamaguchi and I currently not even being friends, being a couple is the least of my worries.

"Tskushima-kun!" I heard a familiar voice calling to me. I stood bolt upright and turned to face Yachi, who was waving her arm around as she ran towards me, no doubt to ask about what happened in there.
Ah.. yeah, she was Yamaguchi's best friend, wasn't she? I clenched my jaw subtly, preparing myself for her scolding.

"Do you know what happened to Yama-kun?"
I blinked, head tilted slightly at her words. Was she not going to yell at me? As I gave no response, she continued.
"He just showed up the other day looking like he got into a fight and it hasn't gotten any better. Me, Hinata and Kageyama have been asking him about it but he's just telling us not to worry about it."

Not to worry about it? When have I heard that before..?

"Sorry Yachi-san, I don't know. We're not really on speaking terms." I murmured in response, looking away.

"Ah.. they told me about everything that happened." Yachi nodded back.
An awkward silence hung in the air for a few moments, neither of us saying a word.
"Why did you hug him?"

"I..." Yachi and I weren't really close. Why was I even telling her this? Oh well, I guess she deserves to know why I just hugged her best friend.
"Asked for some advice from some.. friends.. of how to make it up to Yamaguchi. One of them recommended a big gesture that made me uncomfortable, so I planned to apologise in front of everyone but when I saw his face and.."

I paused. Yachi just stared at me expectantly.
I surprised both of us with a brief, sad chuckle as I continued. "Well, seeing him like that reminded me of when we were kids. Yamaguchi.. wasn't very liked and got hurt a lot. It's embarrassing, but I hugged him a lot then to make him feel better."

"So it was like instinct?" Yachi asked softly, her voice snapping me back to reality. Had I seriously just rambled to her? How lame.

"...mh." I just made a simple noise of agreement, not trusting myself to speak anymore. She gave a short, understanding nod and sighed lightly.

"Tsukishima-kun.. I'm not usually one to say this, but you really messed up."

"I know."

"Yamamguchi was really hurt."

"I know."

"But I'll help you."

"I kno- really?" I fixed my glasses in surprise at hearing her say that. I thought for sure she'd be mad at me, so this was completely unexpected.

"Really. Yama-kun hasn't been the same since he broke off your friendship and seeing him like that is so upsetting. Hinata and Kageyama too I'm sure will help in their own weird way if I ask enough... I mean, in the end, we all just want what's best for you two's friendship. It's weird seeing you two not together." Yachi finished her little speech with a bow before turning and hurrying back to the gym.

I was stood in shocked silence, the only noises coming from the volleyball gym as the doors were open. Without even realising it, I was straining my ears to listen for Yamaguchi's voice. Of course, I was quite far off, but I could still hear the 'nice kill's and 'nice receive's, I was hoping I'd hear him-

"Tsukishima." I jumped slightly, hearing the exact voice I'd been searching for. I turned around with a start to see Yamaguchi stood there, expression unreadable. There was a silence that I didn't read as awkward, since I was too busy inspecting his face.

"What happened to you?"

"Don't worry about it."

Then it clocked on me. He must've seen the realisation in my eyes because he turned to walk off quickly. No, I wasn't letting him.

My job was to protect him and I hadn't. I vividly remembered a time when we were much younger and I'd brought a crying Yamaguchi back to his house where his mother had been waiting with open arms. I'd promised her that I'd protect him so that it didn't happen again, but just like when we were kids I couldn't protect him from it all. I couldn't protect him from them.

"Tsukk- Tsukishima, let go." He looked back at me and it was only then that I realised I'd jumped over and grabbed his sleeve, stopping him from walking away. Our eyes met and I held his gaze, mouth opening and closing without any sound coming out.

I was terrible with words. How was I supposed to ask this without him thinking I was prying? Our friendship deserved more time, I didn't want to just jump back in when he obviously wasn't ready-

"They hurt you, they're back.. why didn't you tell me they hurt you again?"