Unreadable. Unreachable. Unrequited. | TsukiYama ✓

18

! This chapter contains mild spoilers for season 2 episode 25 !

[Tsukishima]

When we arrived back at school, what seemed to be the entirety of Karasuno High School had stayed behind to congratulate us on our win. We stared up at the relatively small school, eyes wide as people cheered for us out the long windows. It felt good, in all honesty, even though volleybal wasn't the most exciting thing in my life.

Having people cheer for you always felt cool, no matter what the occasion. I hadn't done much, but it still felt like quite a relief. We went to watch the news report about the semifinals and I wondered why they even bothered. It was a stupid high school club, right? I shook my head, clearing the thoughts away as we all piled out to have a meeting in the gym. I mostly didn't listen, because I wasn't bothered and was too interested looking at Yamaguchi.
I had to talk to him, I had to sort this.. but I didn't want to make things worse before the finals. I knew it meant a lot to him, it was his pride after all right?

I blinked as he was suddenly standing in front of me in apparent confusion. Everyone else had got up to leave, so I quickly followed suit and grabbed my sports bag. I was walking a little behind Yamaguchi, who was alone again, as I weighed my two options. Talk or don't talk. Talk or don't talk. Talk or don't-

"Yamaguchi." I sped up until I was at his side. He gave me a mod of acknowledgement, staring up at my face.
"Can we talk?"

"Tsukki.."

"Seriously. I really need to talk to you." I drew my fingers through my hair slightly, feeling so lame at saying that. I think he could sense how uncomfortable I was, so luckily he agreed to talk. I glanced around and gently took his sleeve.
"Not here."

Yamaguchi looked uncertain for a moment before giving me another short nod, allowing me to lead us where we could talk. Ah shit- where was I gonna go? I hadn't planned this out whatsoever, was this as good of an idea as Akaashi said it was I going to make things worse? I like having a plan, otherwise things will go wrong and everything will cave in on itself and I'll fuck everything up again.

"Tsukki." Yamaguchi grabbed my arm, making me look back at him in the middle of the street. "Calm down, alright? Relax. Take your time."

"You're amazing, you know that?" I sighed, letting go of his sleeve. Okay, the middle of the street would have to do, because I couldn't risk losing him anyway.
"You're sweet and kind and always seem to see the best in people. You have so much determination to achieve what you want and.. I wish I was half the person you are."

"Tsukki-"

"No no, please, Yamaguchi." I gripped his shoulders suddenly, staring into his eyes. "I've never done this before, bare with me." I took a short breath, thinking it over for a second.
"I screwed up. Really badly. So badly that I ended up pushing away the only person that's been there for me through it all. When my brother lied to me you were there to help and I don't think I ever even thanked you for that. You're so cool and I've been so lame to you. I took your entire being for granted and.. shit."

I felt my cheek. I was crying? Goddammit, how sappy. How stupid. Yamaguchi was just stood in shocked silence.

"I didn't consider you a friend." I murmured, squeezing his shoulders gently. "I considered you my best friend, then I threw it all away for no reason and I'm sorry!"

There was a silence that stretched out after that, Yamaguchi slowly putting his hands over mine to lower them off his shoulders. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve to stop myself from crying any more, pushing my glasses back up my face after.

"I was an ass to you and I don't know why. I'd never had a friend before you, I.. shit, guess I did just take take take from this give-and-take thing huh?" I squeezed my hands into fists, staring at the ground so that I wouldn't have to meet his eye. "I'm sorry, Yamaguchi. You deserve so much better."

That's it. I apologised, I did what I wanted to do right in the middle of the street. How desperate right? God I was so uncomfortable, standing in front of all these people speaking my heart out and-
Oh.
I'd have to thank the 'third gym squad' later.

I finally looked up, meeting his eyes for a moment before bowing and starting to head home. That was so gross, when did I get that lame? Shit shit shit, I hope that wouldn't throw him off his game, his serves were amazing during the match he can't screw up, it'd crush him.
I started speed-walking, just passing by the entrance to the park when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I paused and turned around to see Yamaguchi standing there, a soft smile on his face.

"Hey Tsukki."

"Hey."

"Thanks." Yamaguchi used the hand on my shoulder so that he could hug me, "Sorry Tsukki, this is lame isn't it?"

I glanced down at him as he started pulling away, then something in me made me wrap my arms back around him and pull him closer, returning the hug.
"...no. It's pretty cool." I murmured, squeezing my eyes shut as I rested my head in his hair. That was cue for him to also rest his head against my shoulder, since that's about where he reached on me.

"I missed you, Tsukki."

"I missed you too."

"You really must've, for you to say all that lame stuff." Yamaguchi chuckled and I smiled back, breaking into a slight chuckle because everything was okay again.

"So... friends?" I asked hesitantly, breaking away from the hug to stare at him. I could be lame for once, I could sacrifice it to have Yamaguchi back.

"Friends. You know I would've been fine with just an apology right? You didn't have to say all that sappy stuff about me being amazing." He smiled and I could see the glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"Ah, but you deserved more than a simple apology. And besides," I put my hands in my pockets, giving him a slight grin. "You say it to me all the time. Give-and-take, right?"

Yanaguchi's entire face lit up with joy and he gently nudged me with his head, making my heart swell with happiness.
"Right. Now c'mon, we gotta rest up for our big game tomorrow. I want you to actually properly try, alright?"

"I always try, Yamaguchi-"

"Tadashi. You know you can call me Tadashi."

I glanced to him and smiled.
"Alright Tadashi. You can call me Kei, you know that too right?"

"Of course, but I prefer Tsukki."

"...I prefer Tsukki from you too."

"Woah who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

Best friend... I really couldn't hide my grin now. We were friends again. Best friends. It felt like a dream come true...
But, all dreams have to end sometime.