All or Nothing

19

*******

So here's another one, a bit later than I wanted to but I've been spending some quality time with my little cousin that I see once a year. I also have a new game, so I've been either in front of a TV or playing with dinosaurs with my cousin. I finally had some time today so here it is. Big thanks to all of your comments on the last chapter understanding that I needed some time for myself, thanks guys😊

*******

Lauren wakes on December twenty-second with a face-full of brunette hair and an armful of the one and only Camila Cabello and smiles softly when she sees the time on her alarm clock because she still has another half an hour before she has to get out of bed.

Camila is still fast asleep and Lauren leans over to switch off the alarm because there's no point in waking her when Lauren knows for a fact that she doesn't have anywhere to be until noon, and even Camila isn't capable of sleeping in that long.

She turns back towards her girlfriend when it's off, arm sliding over her hip and front pressing against her back, sighing at the feeling of so much bare, smooth skin against her own, pressing her nose into Camila's hair, the side of her neck, closing her eyes and breathing her in.

Each and every morning she wakes up like this, Lauren marvels at how lucky she is. The day they'd first met she'd had no idea that Camila would come to mean so much to her, would embed herself in Lauren's life so completely that it was hard to imagine a world without her – and Lauren doesn't want to.

She was almost too scared to let herself have this, to let her heart open itself to another, and to immerse herself in the happiness of falling in love.

She never thought she'd love again, after Nicholas, but she looks at Camila sometimes – especially like this, illuminated in the soft glow of the early morning sunlight, and Lauren leans up on one elbow to glance down at her, eyes closed and face relaxed in sleep – and feels like her heart is swelling with the force of it, making her chest tight, and the words are always, always at the tip of her tongue but she hasn't dared to say them yet.

Because that makes it real in the most terrifying of ways, even though Lauren is sure, from the way Camila looks at her sometimes, her gaze heavy and warm on Lauren's skin like the sun's rays, that she feels the same, she's still not sure if she's ready to take that last final step over the precipice and tumble into a future with Camila by her side.

Lauren dips down to press a kiss against Camila's cheek before slipping from the bed, pausing as she hears Camila grumble in her sleep behind her, worried she's woken her up – but she turns back to see her still sleeping peacefully, and draws the covers carefully over her waist before walking into her bathroom and stepping into her shower.

The water is hot against her skin, easing the ache of her tired muscles from a night of that incredible sex she and Camila keep having whenever they get the chance. She lathers up her hair and closes her eyes, letting the water beat against her and chase away the last remnants of sleep – and promptly blinks them open again when she hears the bathroom door creaking open behind her.

Camila stands in the doorway smothering a yawn with the back of her hand, her hair a complete mess and yesterday's make-up smudged across her face, blinking heavily for a few moments as she adjusts to the harsh lights of the bathroom.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me, or is that really you, Camila Cabello, out of bed before six a.m.?" Lauren calls teasingly as Camila's overcome by another yawn, smirking at the glare that's directed her way – losing some of its effect seeing as Camila's eyes are barely open anyway. "What are you doing?" She continues, when Camila pads over towards the shower and tugs the door open, stepping inside.