A Love Worth Fighting For

Ch. 1

Five years. It's been five years since Clay came home. Five years since he asked me to marry him. Five years worth of love and affection but it's also been five years worth of watching Clay battle demons he refused to talk about. Five years worth of me begging him to talk. Five years of him hugging me and telling me he would be okay.

It was a Tuesday morning and I was waking up so I could get the coffee going. I knew Hannah and Mikey would be getting up and ready for school soon. I needed a large amount of caffeine because I had midterms all this week. After life got back to somewhat normal when Clay came home, I started looking into pursuing a pharmaceutical degree. I would be graduating in two semesters.

When I rolled over, Clay was not in bed. It was nothing for him to be up long before I was. Sometimes he would go ahead and start the coffee but most of the time, he'd go out for a run. I didn't smell coffee brewing so I knew he decided to go on out.

I climbed out of bed and pulled my robe on and went downstairs. On the small white board that hung on the fridge was a little note from Clay...

Out for a run. Be back before you leave for class. -Clay

He knew he didn't have to leave those notes but it made me smile a little every time.

He didn't have to go into the office today so I figured that Brent would be over and they would just hang out. Clay took a job at the recruitment center about six months after he came home. I knew that he just settled for the job but I still didn't know what he wanted to do.

As great as it was to have Clay home, he started experiencing post traumatic stress disorder shortly after settling into a new normal. He would get this glassy eyes look when he thought about it too long. Loud sounds would startle him sometimes, causing him to duck because he thought someone was shooting at him. There's been a couple of times that I'd walk up behind him and unknowingly scare him and he'd go into defensive mode. He never hurt me but he sure did scare me.

Just as I poured myself a cup of coffee, I heard Mikey and Hannah walking downstairs. I smiled at each of them and loved the fact that they still have me a hug every morning.

Mikey turned eighteen in March and was in his senior year of high school. After Clay came home, the little delinquent that I dealt with, disappeared. He spoke his mind when he told me that I couldn't replace his mom and I respected that. We finally moved on from that and I couldn't ask for a better little brother.

Hannah was now fifteen and a sophomore. When she was in eight grade, the school called a meeting with Clay and I and suggested we have Hannah double promoted. She exceeded test scores and skipped the ninth grade. I think sometimes she feels a little out of place because she's not in any classes with her friends but she has not let that slow her down. She's such an amazing young lady and I'm so happy that I've had a role in her life.

My mom remarried. She met a man about four years ago named William Rafferty. He asked her out everyday for almost a year. She kept turning him down until I told her that dad would want her to be happy again. She thought my grandparents would get upset but I knew Nan and Pap would be happy for her. They dated for six months before he asked her to marry him.

I was almost envious because it seemed like getting married to Clay would never happen. Whenever I would bring it up, he would noticeably get agitated and just say it wasn't the right time. At this point, I don't think there ever will be a right time. He said he still wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and we still had time to get married. I took my engagement ring off last month and he hasn't said a single word.

Just before I went upstairs to start getting ready for class, Clay walked through the back door. He went straight to the coffee pot and poured some into his BEST BIG BROTHER mug the kids got for his 25th birthday several years ago. After pouring the hot brew, he walked over to me and picked me on the forehead.

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Morning," I replied. "I have midterms until four. Do you think you can start supper this evening?"

"What were you planning?"

"Chicken Alfredo with steamed broccoli and garlic bread."

"Sure. I got it covered," he said.

"Thank you," I said, giving him a small kiss.

After I got dressed and started down the stairs, the doorbell rang and the door immediately opened and closed. I knew it was Brent. I threatened to have the locks changed and not give him a key. He just laughed at me. He was standing at the staircase as I stepped down.

"I need to ask you something," he said.

"Okay."

"Does Clay realize you're not wearing your engagement ring?"

I looked at home startled, thinking of an excuse.

"I put on some weight and it got tight."

"Nice try, Claire," he said. I knew he was upset because to this day he still called me Legs. He only called me Claire if he was upset or concerned.

"Brent," I started only to stop by him holding up his hand.

"I don't want another lame excuse. Are you cheating on him?"

"What?" I almost screeched. "Of course not! I want to spend my life with him. I'm just not sure he wants to marry me anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have class," I said and stomped out of the house.

I cannot believe he asked me that. I was furious as I drove to the campus and I knew I needed to calm myself down or I would tank my midterms. I let it go but I knew he'd still be at the house when I got home and I would not be in the mood to deal with him after this.

For now, I'll let it go.

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There it is guys. First chapter in its entirety. I hope that it holds up to the same standards as Hearts Afar.

Please remember that posting will be very sporadic as it is officially my daughters summer break and I'm hoping that we can enjoy some time considering everything that's going on. I also have a toddler aged daughter now who (if you don't have kids) demands all my attention, as to which I would never change.

I'm also uploading on my phone so it's a little harder trying to make sure that everything is the way it needs to be so be gentle. I've taken heat recently for it being so long since over posted or some little comment made about something. It's been years, I know. Guys and girls, I'm closing in on being 40 years old in a few short years so instead of responding to nasty or rude comments, I will just delete or make a statement about why I haven't posted. Yes, I want you all to enjoy my writing but please remember, I am a mother first.

I hope you all enjoy the first chapter