How To Lose Weight And Survive The Apocalypse

Chapter 30

Here's how it should have gone:

Tasmania appears before us, a shining emerald against the blue of the sea and sky. We hug and celebrate as we watch the island draw closer, beckoning us towards her.

We sail into the blue bay, a light breeze tugging at the sails as we cruise up to the dock. I alight on the jetty, the wind catching my hair, Rueben's arm around my waist. A knowing smile lifts my lips as we straddle the bikes and head off in search of the farm.

The gates welcome us as we turn up the sunny driveway. My feet are sure on the pedals, my Lycra-clad butt lifted high in the air as I power up towards the main house. My clothing hugs my body in the right way; I am all toned curves and powerful lines.

At the house, my family is sitting on the wide veranda, sipping tea. My mother rises. "My god... Karla? Is that you?"

My parents run to me and hold me tightly. My brother is close behind, while his children dance around us in circles.

Finally, Dean approaches. "Oh wow... Baby girl, you look incredible."

"Do I?" I say innocently, placing my hands on my newly slimmed hips.

"Yeah. God... I never should have let you go."

And with my family and clan watching, I smile and say, "That's nice. Now, get the fuck out of here."

His awe turns to shock; he drops to his knees. "Karla, please..."

I tell my family, "This man abused me for years. I don't ever want to see his face again."

"But where will I go?"

"Not my problem." I stand over him as he scurries out of the gates.

"Please, baby girl... We can fix this. I still love you!"

My eyes narrow. "Don't you get it?" I say, echoing his final words to me from years before. "I can never be with someone like you."

Everyone cheers as he scampers away into the wild. I stride up to Rueben and he picks me up effortlessly, spinning me around in pride before kissing me deeply...

But just like everything that had happened since that Tuesday when the world fell apart, reality didn't quite match up to my imagination.

For starters, we didn't sail up to Tasmania; we almost sailed into Tasmania.

After collapsing into bed the previous night, brimming with gratitude for every breath, I'd woken up agitated and exhausted. As I pulled on my Lulu's, the only cleanish garment I owned, they snagged and something ripped. "Are you kidding me?" I whispered weakly to myself. Of course they'd torn, and of course, it was across the seam of my butt cheek.

Thank god for long tee-shirts... I pulled on my stupid 'sheep happens' tee, then donned the knitted men's cardigan Rueben had loaned me the night before. "You saved my daughter," he'd said, pushing it at me as I shrugged out of my sodden flannel shirt. "You have to let me start making it up to you."

It smelled like him, of salt and sweetness, and as I sniffed at the sleeve, I encountered a vivid flashback of Rueben and me in my tent, his fingers between my thighs, his mouth on my nipple, as I moaned and-

"Woman!" Bailey's face appeared around my bedroom door. "Don't think just because you nearly died a wretched death lost at sea means you get out of sailing duties. Rueben needs us."

We padded through the kitchen. "Where's Mish?" I asked.

"Still in bed."

"It's good to see you out of bed, Bailes."