Hug Me | Bobsoo

4. 10 Seconds (Final)

Jisoo said that she's still inside the convenience store near her apartment. From the call that he just made, he could also tell that she was still not done contemplating on which snack should she buy. That meant he still had some time to think about how he should tell his feelings to her. So there he was standing anxiously on the side of the street in front of her apartment.

Should I just get to the point? 'Jisoo I like you' straight from the start?

Should I also tell her that It's been this way ever since i saw her walking into the bumping car arena for the music video shoot?

What should I say so she can understand that I do this just to get the pain out of my chest and not to ruin her relationship nor our friendship?

His thought stopped upon feeling a hand on his shoulder. "Bobby-ah! What was it? And why does it have to be now? At this hour? It's midnight already do you even notice?" Jisoo said nagging at him but at the same time her tone was still cheerful since it's not like they've never randomly decided to hangout around this hour.

"Oh, Jisoo!" He stopped for a second, prepping his heart. "So the thing is.. I've been.."

Bobby peeked to her face realizing that he has been avoiding her gaze ever since she came. But now that he had a good look of her eyes, the words weigh a lot heavier than he thought. He tried to say something but only sighs came out of his mouth.

Suddenly his brain thought about too many things like 'wait, do I really have to tell her?', 'So what if I tell her? What do I expect her to do after this?', 'it would surely burden her isn't it?', 'Will it even really free me from the pain?'. His mind froze. All he could see was the way Jisoo's face slowly changed from curious and enthusiast at first into a mix of sadness and worries.

"Bobby, are you okay?" Jisoo said as she sensed something heavy on Bobby's eyes. It seems like tonight is not the let's-have-a-fun-random-talk-till-drop kind of situation. "Do you want to talk inside or somewhere?" she nudged his arm.

Bobby didn't answer her and only stared restlessly at the ground looking really distracted. Looking at her like that made him realize how precious of a friend she was, and to risk losing her just to get rid of his pain didn't seem like a good idea anymore.

I'm not ready to lose her.

"Come on, let's get inside the lobby" Jisoo said dragging him by the hand.

"No, Jisoo, it's... nothing..." Bobby pulled her back and reached her other hand which is still holding on to the plastic bag from the convenience store to stop her. 

It's decided. He's not gonna tell her and risk losing her as his friend. Having a painful one sided love doesn't seem like that much of a bad idea now. As long as he can still be sure that tomorrow she's gonna tell him about her days even if it's just a tiny bit.

This time he looked into her eyes with peace. A peace that he made with himself, that this one-sided love is fine by him. All he needs right now is just a hug, just for once, for 10 seconds, just enough so it won't ruin their friendship, just enough so he won't have any regret.

"Can I hug you?" he said still holding her hands.

Jisoo looked puzzled for a second, her face immediately turned back to the worried and sad state if not even more worried and sad now. She's really confused but she's more sad that she couldn't do anything about his situation that seems heartbreaking.

"Eottoke uri Bobby... (translate: what am I supposed to do about my Bobby)" She said thinking out loud while embracing him into a warm hug in hope she can make him be more at ease.

Bobby said nothing in return. He closed his eyes and let himself wrapped in her arms. His mind that went restless since last night, or probably since the night he first met her, is finally calming down.

1

So this is how your embrace feels

2

it's very 

3

warm

4

Maybe it's because I love you

5

But,

6

 you, 

7

who I can't have, 

8

are still 

9

so 

10

beautiful

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Author's note: Bobby's thoughts on the last 10 seconds were from Hug Me lyrics again. It was one of my favorite song from iKON the emotion of that song was really strong on me :")