The Thunder in My Heart

In which Draco notices three things...

The fire crackled comfortingly, casting a golden hue across the dark common room. Draco had long since dimmed the lights, making the setting more intimate and easier for them to discuss the difficult previous year.

'I don't understand, was Ron really so jealous of you that he split with Hermione?' Draco had questioned.

'It's not just because of jealousy. But certainly partly. It stems back to that first Horcrux we carried when we were camping. It messed with our heads. It was all pretty shitty. At that time, we were shut off from everyone apart from what we managed to hear through the radio and I hadn't got a clue what to do apart from Dumbledore's fucking bizarre and obscure clues. All we knew was that Voldemort had split his soul seven times and only two of the six Horcruxes had been destroyed and we were carrying the third. Plus, we knew they were all objects of significance to Voldemort. But I was also starting to suspect, even back then, that I might be another one, which wasn't exactly helping. So, the Horcrux played on our weaknesses. We were all frustrated, I was getting more and more angry, and more and more insecure, things were getting tenser and tenser, and then Ron finally snapped. He stopped believing. It's hard to describe, it seems too insignificant now, but back then, well, everything was exaggerated and huge. We'd only found one Horcrux by ourselves, we'd risked everything to retrieve it and Ron got badly injured in the process. Then he overheard me and Mione talking things over one night and got the wrong idea...'

'He thought you were in love and having an affair behind his back?'

'A bit of that, and a bit of doubt that he was a spare part and not needed. It wasn't true. It was the Horcrux's doing. So, he broke and left us. Of course, we had to move on straight away in case he was caught and led the Snatchers back to us. It was an awful time. I don't think we ever really healed from it.'

'But he came back, and he saved your life.'

'Yes. After Snape sent his Patronus and led me to the Sword of Gryffindor. Ron's timing was impeccable, I would have died if he hadn't come back at that precise moment. I gave him the sword to destroy the Horcrux, he both deserved it and needed it. It was supposed to bring us back together, but none of the Horcruxes went without a fight. You saw Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem being destroyed by the Basilisk tooth and the Fiendfyre...'

Draco shuddered at the thought of that awful day, closing his eyes briefly only for the darkness to be engulfed by the images of flames soaring up around him. He felt Harry shift position and heard Hermione's beastly cat yowl at being disturbed as the cushions dipping and Harry shunted closer. He felt that slightly shaky, cold hand touch his shoulder and squeeze it gently and he leaned into Harry so the other man put his arm around him and pulled him in close so Draco could rest his head on Harry's shoulder.

He sunk against Harry and into the woody, chocolatey smell he could only associate with the man. He felt Harry's beard tickle against his skin as he rested his cheek on Draco's forehead.

The raven-haired man sighed deeply and Draco wasn't sure who needed this more, him or Harry.

'The problem was,' Harry continued, 'just as Ron sliced through the locket with the sword, Voldemort's voice screeched at him, telling him that he'd never be good enough, that he'd never be able to compete with me, that he wasn't wanted, and it showed him an image of me and Mione. We were in each other's arms; we were naked and we were kissing, passionately...'

Draco pulled away and looked at Harry in surprise. The man grimaced back at him.

'That gave me lots to think about later, I can tell you. I think that's when I first started to really suspect I might be gay. I had an inkling before but that vision didn't do a thing for me, it didn't even cause a twitch of intrigue. You would think, really, that it would, I mean, even I know she's damned attractive. I spent many a night-watch thinking about that one, I can tell you. I think it's partly why I tried to get back together with Ginny at the end of the war – jut to confirm how I felt about the fairer sex. And that was pretty conclusive, if you ask me.'