honey sights

e p i p h a n y

i'm sorry i could never really

love myself

i'm trying so hard

almost too hard

but my epiphany

a sudden form of knowledge

is only that i'm simply

not as good as everyone else

they aren't sick in the brain

they don't love the same gender too

they make straight A's

they're the coaches favorite kid

they're what everyone wants

they're fucking manipulative

they're toxic

they bodyshame

they're racist

but i'm still compared to them, like they're

a goddess. AND WHY?

why is it like this

why do they get the good glorification

but i'm seen as a devil child

"don't dress like that, you look like a

h o o k e r"

those words echo in my brain when i try

to wear anything but sweatpants

and my usual t shirt

why do i feel pressured to be

someone i'm not?

i can't ever love myself

i'm sorry seokjin

i'm sorry namjoon

i'm sorry mom

i'm sorry therapist

i'm sorry friends

i'm sorry. it hurts too much to

love something that

simply

isn't worth loving.