↳ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

xxi

i. i remembered i had fists today. my heart decided to be the vicious warrior. punch after punch, does it seek glory? i'm washing my hands. they shine red like sunsets when i first discovered paradise. am i a murderer? or was i just killing my thoughts in self defense?

ii. angels are talking behind my back. they don't sound like the cruel laughter i've come to know. they never leave (everyone else always does.) should i call this lie love? for the first time i think i could be holy. i almost smile.

iii. my lips are full of ruby lies. smooth criminal dancing in a forgotten light. put me on trial for breaking. for hurting. yesterday i tried to burn my mind and i left three bodies decaying behind my back (they were all mine mine mine.) forgive me, father, for leaving these marks. mother says heaven doesn't want me anymore.

but, mother, i don't think heaven ever has.