Profiler

2

Keenan

A small cry passed my lips as I jolted myself awake. Dried and fresh tears present on my cheeks, my erratic heartbeat pounding in my head, the thuds deafening my senses. Looking around the room for my phone, I reached out to grab it with shaky hands. With blurry eyes filled with tears threatening to spill, I did my best to find my brother's number.

My knees brought to my chest and arm wrapped around for some sort of protection, I tried to keep my crying to a minimum as I brought the phone to my ear. The ringing of the phone sounded distant as I grew anxious, the nightmare frightening me. I rarely had any nightmares since the incident, but when I did have one Spencer was always there to calm me, and I needed him now more than ever.

Not even 2 seconds later his voice pierced through the deafening sounds of my heart and breathing, his soothing, caring tone bringing me back to reality. My soft sobs and sniffles were diminishing, my breathing and heart lowering to a normal pace the longer I heard my brothers voice. "I'm right here, listen to my voice Keenan".

Turning my head towards the clock on the nightstand once I was at a more calm state, I felt a tinge of guilt run through me as I noticed it was 3 in the morning. "Spence I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late....." but I was cut off by the older boy rambling about how he was awake anyway looking over one of the cases.

"...and don't you dare apologize for calling me Keen". Soon enough the call ended and I was left wide awake not wanting to close my eyes again for a little while. Feeling the dried tear marks on my cheeks, I pulled myself off the bed and towards the bathroom to try and wash away my demons. They clung to me like a toddler wrapped around a parents leg, no matter how hard you try to pull them off, they hold onto you even tighter.

Warm water cascaded down my body as I tried to wash away the evidence of my fear winning. I couldn't look weak, not today. Today I had to make a good impression, I didn't want my new team to think a weak woman was joining their unit. If I showed weakness then I didn't deserve to have Agent in front of my name, not after all the work I put in.

Taking a deep breath as I faced the mirror, blue eyes pierced into my soul searching for vulnerabilities. Running a comb through my wet hair, not exactly wanting to deal with knots once the haired dried, I felt my mind wandering once again.  No matter how hard I tried not think about my future, I couldn't help but worry nonetheless. There were millions possibilities of how things could go, all leading into different directions. Some were bad, some were good, but only one was the future I wanted. I had to make the right choices but I don't know what decisions they would be. One wrong move and everything would change in an instant.

Searching through the dresser drawers and closet for the right outfit, I finally decided on something business casual. I didn't want to be over-dressed which would make me look like a snob, and I didn't want to be under-dressed which would make me look like a rookie.

Slipping into the black bodysuit and skinny jeans, I glanced at the alarm clock across the room, seeing I had a few hours until I had to be at the precinct. Realizing I had no clue where said place was, I thought it was wise to leave early to figure out my way around Chicago.

Brushing my hair into a ponytail to keep most of my hair out of my face, I let a few stray places out to look somewhat casual. Applying a minimum amount of make up, not a lot as to not deal with zits in the future, but enough for me to feel confident.

Taking hold of a multicolored bracelet, I slid it onto my wrist, an instant sense of comfort surrounding me. The colored band made by Spencer and given to me on my 14th birthday, the older boy wanting me to have a sense of him no matter where I was. It was a sweet gesture, and now it was an item that I couldn't live without.